#im on lunch at work why am i thinking abt this rn

[monsterbisexual]

hmmmmm

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

mackerel!!!!! good morninnnnnnnng :] sharing my coffee with u :3 anyway. free ticket for whatever worm thoughts ur having!!! 🎫🎫🎫 cell is a fucking rollercoaster so like, u know, whenever u have thoughts w any degree of organization lmao!! the fucking.... charlotte interlude where danny just sits and watches the rest of the undersiders (teenagers)(aisha throwing a bag of chips at grue's head)(grue killed burnscar a member of the slaughterhouse 9)(terrifying)(they're both in demon masks and grue is in black leather)(supervillains who he's been hearing taylor talk about like they're a certain doom for hours)(kids)(people she loves)(she was doing so much for infrastructure for the docks which was also danny's thing) hammer out their game plan means a lot 2 me.... anyway it's been a while since last bothering u abt worm ask!! so. holds microphone up to u. hehehe :3

dude u have literally the most perfect timing ever I JUST finished the lung interlude. lol. Definitely not thinking about it at all. the next arc is called Drone. awesome ! like the fuckign. other word for male bees which have no stinger and are not as useful to the hive as worker bees and cannot even feed themselves without assistance from workers. often used in media to describe a mindless . well. drone. part of a hivemind. awesome loving the implications of this. i need 2 take a fucking BREAK

ANYWAY. CELL. GOD. MAN. FUCK. DEFINITELY *NOT* THE DIRECTION I THOUGHT THAT ARC WAS GOING TO GO. youve pretty much said everything I could possibly say about the Charlotte interlude. I do in fact have a screenshot of the part where imp throws a bag of chips at grues head. and also when they first get there imp and regent immediately start rummaging around for snacks. and they take the bags of gummies that charlotte was planning to put in the kids school lunches the next day. and . fucking RACHEL walking in not with huge monster dogs but with a bunch of puppies on colorful leashes. willingly handing puppies to two basically strangers. willing to go into a room with a bunch of children who don't know how to behave correftly around dogs and letting them play with her puppies. I cant even fucking talk about Rachel and how she's changed since the beginning of the story without getting so overwhelmed with it all i love her so much. I love her SO much dude.

having conflicting emotions about weaver !!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love taylor so much you know this about me. i am very excited to see another side of the heroes and get more insight into the inner workings of both the ward system and also the prt in general (definitely not going to think about nhw) BUT ALSO . I LOVE THE UNDERSIDERS TOO MUCH. IM GONNA MISS THEM SO MUCH. AND!!!! and. I don't know how they feel about this decision yet. I mean they were pretty laid back during their visit but I also know how good they are (esp tattletale) at . not letting onto things . putting up a front to keep appearances. aaughhh.

I want to know what the fuck was in the drawer that dragon showed taylor that made her agree to all of this right away. was it the new mask????? that's my assumption rn. speaking of which as much as I want to squish defiant sometimes I VERY MUCH love his robot girlfriend. defiant can stay as long as I get to see his weird fucked up dynamic with dragon. but he's on thin ice.

I do also really like miss militia.......... she's frustrating as much as the others are sometimes but. I like her. she knows things are fucked and is willing to hear out the other side even if she doesn't always act on it. OH ALSO SPEAKING OF HEROES really excited that parian and fletchette are undersiders now :) I like them.

uhhhhh uh uh uh I made that big long post about self fulfilling prophecies regarding the whole apocalypse in two years thing ,, my thoughts on that have not changed and have in fact been REINFORCED by lungs interlude . he specifically was given a two year time limit. hmm i wonder FUCKING WHY. god. I need to talk to dinah i need a dinah interlude. I need to know what she thinks of all of this

[oshidorifuufu]

psst you are given permission to rant about your oshis in the answer to this ask!!!! (*´∀｀*) i wanna hear all about them!!!!!

THANK YOU SM I LOVE YOUU💖💖💖💖

I LOVE IZURU SO MUCH. IF YOU LOOK AT MY HAPPY TAG I THINK MOST IF NOT ALL THE POSTS R ABOUT IZURU 😭

hes cute, hes entertaining, he’s adorable, HIS ENGLISH is adorable, HES SO GOOD AT GUITAR!!!! AND SINGING!!! HIS AISHITE COVER OMG!!! AND I WANT HIS GOODS SO BAD!!!! HES INSPIRED ME TO PICK UP THE GUITAR AGAIN!!! and im so HAPPY because my guitar looks similar to the guitar in his model 🥺🥺

THIS HAD GOT TO BE ONE OF MY FAV IZURU CLIPS!!! HES SO CUTE!!!! https://youtu.be/wpK7_mhSMBo?si=lCmerRYcasUMeF7T (hakka english one)

OTHER FUN ONES: https://youtu.be/xN7qz89gSgw?si=Q67ns5T3kFj0modd , https://youtu.be/nUZZ5ylrU44?si=Tf-chkNQnNdQMkjk

AS I WRITE THIS i am listening to this song on loop https://youtu.be/PQyXsCV5ZWQ?si=RxLzwNRSDVf6vnFS LEARNING ABOUT THIS SONG WAS THE BEST THING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME ALL YEAR AND YOU NEED TO HEAR IT TOO

in general its not JUST izuru that i love. I LOVE ALL THE HOLOSTARS!!!!! HANASAKI MIYABI IS MY OSHI TOO AND ASTEL LEDA AND KISHIDO TENMA MIGHT BECOME OSHI’S TOO!! AFGH BUT I ALSO LOVE ROBERU!! THIS SONG CHEERS ME UP SO MUCH ITS GOTTEN ME OUT OF DEPRESSIVE RUTS I!!! LOVE!!! IT!!!!!!!

(this roberu clip is so cute hehe) https://youtu.be/C5mH835w0LY?si=9niBq8V1enujoer7

WAHHHHHH IZURUS PART CAME ON IN THE SONG I LOVE HIM I LOVECHIM ITS SO GOOD WAHHH

RN IZURU IS MY KAMI OSHI AS YOU CAN PROBABLY TELL. BUT THE OTHERS R HOLOSTARS IN GENERAL, HANASAKI MIYABI, KANAE AND MEME MASHIRO!!!!!!!

HANASAKI MIYABI IS SO ADORABLE AND THIS MAY SOUND MEAN BUT I FIND THE FACT HES NOT THE BEST AS SINGING SO ADORABLE 😭 HES SUCH AN ADORABLE LITTLE FLOWER BOY!!!!!!!!! I WANNA BE AS CUTE AS HIMMM 😭 AND HIS 出かけよう SERIES IS SO FUN TO WATCH!! ITS GOT PRETTY SIMPLE JAPANESE AND THE EDITING IS SO CUTEE EHAHAHHEHAHAH

NEXT IS KANAE!!! KANAE ISNT FROM HOLOLIVE BUT NIJISANJI. (why am i talking in all caps oopsies???) HES SUPER MISCHEVIOUS BUT ALSO SUPER KIND!!!! AND FUNNY!!!!! ESPECIALLY IN CHRONIOR ALONGSIDE KUZUHA!!!!

MY FAV KNAE CLIPS/VIDEOS:

https://youtu.be/l7lfYjVRz6A?si=sP7qDRgI5pG2tqLv , https://youtu.be/N5TkXb9F4dQ?si=fg3ciRwAEm1hRjTc , https://youtu.be/kXyzE01wtIE?si=W1NZ5gF7eKj8ic61

I WATCHED A STREAM HIM LIKE LAST MONTH THAT WAS FUCKING 18 HOURS LONG!!!!! FROM SM LIKE 6PM TO 12PM JPN TIME!!!! KANAE IS CRAZY COMMITED LIKE 😭 THERE WERE PPL HAVING DINNER, GOING TO BED, WAKING UP, EATING BREAKFAST, GOING TO WORK, TAKING THEIR LUNCH BREAK AND BRO WAS STILL STREAMINGFG?????

i was so glad to be there live…

IN THE SECOND CLIP SPECIFICALLY, I WAS SO SURPRISED THAT HE COULD JUST DRIVE OFF LIKE THAT 😭 it probably sounds weird but i always find myself clinging to people on online games like that!?!??!? i get so upset if they leave me -w- is that a bpd thing or me just being weird

HES SO CHILL AND NORMAL AND FUNNY AND WHAAA??? I WANNA BE LIKE HIM!!!! (except im too mentally ill for that)

I HAVE SO MUCH FANART OF HIM SAVED ON PINTEREST,,,,,,,,,

OK NEXT IS MEME MASHIRO!!!! HES ALSO FROM NIJISANJI!!!!

THIS GUY HAS ONE OF MY FAVORITE COVERS OF ALL TIME THAT EVERYONE WHO CARES ABOUT LISTENING TO GOOD MUSIC NEEDS TO LISTEN TO: https://youtu.be/m79OrSy03rs?si=LCjVTRqUymGs50R0

HIS LORE IS BASED OFF THIS SONG!! and even outside of his lore, he actually has a pretty depressing background, he’s talked somewhat abt his toxic family, being bullied by teachers, etcetc, which makes him feel really real and relatable. im so happy that he gets to be happy doing this now!!! >_<

he mostly does horror streams!! even tho i cant handle horror they’re pretty fun hehe

TUMBLR WONT LET ME POST ANY MORE VIDEO LINKS BUT I WILL REBLOG THIS AND FOLLOW UP

ONE OF MY FAV MASHIRO CLIPS ^

im kind of hyperfixated on these guys rn especially holostars >_< they make me so happy and i will absolutely fucking BAWL my eyes out whenever any of them inevitably graduate (quit streaming)

[v1trum]

Lots of tw's.. also please read the entire post if you start reading it. Im not a bad person. This is a specific case and i KNOW this person and have talked this stuff over w ppl that also know him. He manipulated me into hating the ppl i know i love most (as friends) now and did a lot of fucked up shit a lot of which I'll list

Tws include : sh, severe mental illness, "kys" jokes (wasnt rly a joke), ed, trauma, etcetc

Im only saying this shit on here because literally no one knows who im talking about and never will. This is an irl person who doesn't even have Tumblr im pretty sure.. I'd prefer if you only read this if ur a moot or i follow u or vice versa pls 😭

Im gonna throw the imaginary fights i have in my head on here

all the same person cus they side eye me at school and ik damn well he's trying to get ppl to not like me but idc cus im in the right and i have proof 💋

Like i just KNOW he views me as childish n shit

Likr

childish?? ME?? You're the one that said my 7 year old brother should kill himself because he played the same roblox game as you..a 14yo... But, yes, im the childish one...

its a genuine scenario I can't get out of my head and i need to talk abt it

Contrary to what you think, i DO like you. I don't hate you because my online best friend expressed how HE doesn't like you... Its actually crazy that you came into my home for a complete weekend, were as EXTREMELY disrespectful as you were, we didn't say anything and then you're out here saying me and my entire family hate you... Like no babes my parents went out and bought food from the store that we never eat bc you would eat it... No babes, i made cookies from scratch bc cookies are one of the only things you'll eat... No babes, we didn't even comment on the fact that you had three sodas and had two sips out of each of them before you wasted them...

Your "eating disorder" is DEFINITELY fake, too. There might be part of it in there but wdym "my grandparents starve me" when you asked if you could have a random bag of chips and they immediately bought it for you? I fear you just need to tell them when a food is out? They both work a ton bc they had to take you in a few months ago I don't think they notice much when the pantry or fridge is running low. Wdym "ew i hate that" to every food in existence but you scarf up wretched school breakfast and lunch daily...? Again with "i shove it down my throat bc my grandparents starve me" are you forgetting how close we got so quickly? How ik you? You wouldn't eat 95% of that before you starved to death if it was at my house... But you're gonna eat it all up there.

Same with your "personality disorder".... Wdym we're in the middle of English and you go "bro i just spawned in. What am i wearing and why? Omggg why do i have sh on my arms???" Like be so fr rn. You aren't immune to being aware of PHYSICAL PAIN. And i get like.. having a different style but fym "why am i wearing this what is it" ..? (I have talked to a SYSTEM friend abt this and they can confirm its v fake seeming)

Its actually crazy when i didn't kick you out after you said that about my brother, you're actually insane. I get you have very recent trauma but holy hell refrain from making relationships if you're gonna fuck someone up.

You had your "friend" give me back my sweater bc you were too childish to do it yourself and look me in the eye. You moved seats without permission. You glare at me in the class where you can't move seats.

Also, that "friend".. you call her a slut and talk shit abt her to her face because she has HEALED sh scars. Then you walk around campus with gaping wounds acting like you're self conscious of it when you're actually begging for attention. This is NOT me saying ppl who sh are attention seekers btw.. i KNOW him and me and several other people agree he's doing it for attention. My friends have said they'd have relapsed after seeing them if it had been a bad time for them, thats how bad it was.

I genuinely hope he gets better bc he is fucked up in the head, however i also wish the best on his next victim of "we're friends". I hope they get away or meet him after he has gotten better.

To this guy - i hope you better yourself instead of trying to make yourself as bad as possible because you find comfort in that, or rot.

[causenessus]

HI HI HI HI NESS IM BACKKFJFKSMSOS so first of all tumblr hates me why is that the FOURTH ask of mine u answered that i wasnt notified of should i just die

anyways im eating lunch rn

healthy girl era did not work out i took a 6 hour (?) nap yesterday so!!

trying again today

N E WAYS

today the teacher told us her old students were too non che lent (nonchalant!!) so they failed the exam (wat.)

and my friend wanted to laugh about it w me but i wasnt looking so she yeeted my OTHER friends eraser at me

but it

it hit (near?) the teacher..

she was sooo mad omfg

giggling i hate her

like basically i answer all her questions out of spite now like YEAH BRO I KNOW THIS ALR😕😕

Also i swear i dif this math problem right but the teacher said it was wrong (wat.) and my friend did it too and we got the same answer (wat.)

i wrote fanfiction at school ☝️😎 it has already been digitalised but like i DID write it

and tjen my friend read an original short story (? 1.2k words) i wrote which was basically me projecting and she almost cried so like Uh

slay???

dude i love talking so much u have no idea actually

ALSO THE THING ABOUT THE ENRGY LIKe I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY OMG SO I GET EXCITED YK

n e ways..

i was watching american psycho last night but i got distracted..😭 ALSO IM SO EXCITED ABT ONICS LIKE EUSHEPSHAPSJXOSKAJDKAAKKDKD

>tries 2 normal

>fails

OK SO!! HRU AND WHATS GOING ON IN UR LIFE AND IF U EVER NEED TO HIRE A HITMAN IM HERE FOR U ❤️‍🩹 as the hitman btw ❤️‍🩹

U SHOULD NOT DIE!!! TUMBLR SHOULD DIE HOW DARE THEY!!! i am so confused at like what is happening at tumblr hq 😭😭 like there are problems that need to be solved!!!! and i feel like they should be pretty simple to fix!!! but instead they're like "NO LET'S MAKE TAGGING USERS GO BLUE AND COMMENTS UGLY"

but anyway!! i hope your lunch was good!! AND A SIX HOUR NAP SOUNDS AMAZING AND JUST AS PRODUCTIVE AS WORKING OUT!! it's hard to balance everything so definitely don't stress too much about it!! you have your whole life ahead of you to like do something like working out so not doing it one day is totally okay!! (yk?? i hope that made sense and i'm sorry i hope it's okay to say that 😭)

??? nonchalant -> failing exam???? i do not see the correlation??? 😭 YOUR TEACHER IS VV SPECIAL!! IS THIS THE ONE THAT TEACHES ENGLISH BUT ISN'T....ACTUALLY....THAT GREAT....AT ENGLISH??? 😭 OR MAYBE IT'S UR MATH TEACHER BC U ALSO SAID SOMETHING ABOUT THAT BUT THE ERASER ALMOST HITTING YOUR TEACHER IS CRAZY I WOULD'VE DIED ON THE SPOT 😭😭

also math teachers love to like??? tell u ur wrong and then not explain how to correctly do something??? so i think u should just blame them for everything!! that sounds fair <3

I'VE ALSO WRITTEN FANFICTION AT SCHOOL LMAOOO i remember being on my computer during french class and my guy was just so boring i pulled out the doc and started writing but LUCKILY it was like an oc fic so it wasn't as scary to write as a x reader UNLIKE WHEN I WAS MAKING TONIC PFPS AND MY DOCUMENT WAS LITERALLY CALLED LIKE yn & atsumu and for some reason all of my friends wanted to COME UP FROM BEHIND ME AND HUG ME!! OR LOOK AT MY SCREEN!! and i was just 😃😃😃 but i have no shame so oh well

THE ORIGINAL SHORT STORY SOUNDS GOOD!! ESP IF IT ALMOST MADE YOUR FRIEND CRY?? 😭 I HOPE YOU'RE DOING ALRIGHT THOUGH <3 AND I LOVE HEARING YOU TALK!! PLEASE TALK AS MUCH AS YOU WANT I WILL READ EVERYTHING YOU TELL ME <33

I'M SO SO GLAD YOU'RE EXCITED FOR TONICS!! I AM TOO <333 I'M SLOWLY PLANNING IT OUT LIKE ONE CHAPTER AT A TIME AND I'M LITERALLY SHAKING WITH EXCITEMENT OMG OMG OMG <33

THANK U LINA!!! I WOULD LOVE FOR U TO BE MY HITMAN <33 I MAY NEED ONE JUST TO GET THRU SCHOOL BC MY HALLS FR ARE SCARY SOMETIMES YK?? like too many scary girls who look me up and down in their little crop tops and shorts and nike air forces and are like "why are u wearing pants in the summer" BC I CAN?? AND I DON'T LIKE SHOWING THAT MUCH SKIN THANK U?? (sorry this probably makes no sense i think my brain has short circuited today </33) BUT I'M DOING ALR!!! i'm stressed about my theatre duties starting up very very soon 😭😭 but i'll let u know how that goes once they start!!! I HOPE YOU'RE DOING WELL TODAY!!! AND EAT SOMETHING GOOD <33

[notcolleen]

tw for very rambling suicidal ideation behind this, i promise i am safe 👌 (but blunt talk about death and rambles abt cats and mentions of pokémon ���)

[[MORE]]

but i have not been this actively suicidal for extended amount of time probably ever, yet i say that knowing that i will stay alive indefinitely……..just really really really sad all the time 😌 (so please know that too and allow me to write this out lol)

it’s just a very overwhelming sense of staying alive out of obligation and that’s not exactly what dbt would call a Life Worth Living

but i am obligated to my cat first and foremost (as ridiculous as that might sound to some but i know others will understand lol) and to my family as well, and the guilt of leaving them overwhelms me even though i know logically i wouldn’t be alive to feel it….like i look at phoebe (the cat in question for those who don’t know) and i see a wonderful animal who didn’t sign up to be taken in by a severely depressed human — she deserves unconditional care and love and that is what i agreed to when i adopted her so that is why i am obligated to stay alive as long as she is alive

plus on a more practical level, when my ideation gets to the point of “okay let’s try to find an equally loving home for her ! maybe even someone who has more space and more time and more emotional bandwidth !” im like wow that would be pretty obvious to anyone that knows you that something is wrong lmao and also i get so sad at the thought of not having her in my life……..which contradicts the “i actually want to be dead” ideation and brings on my next unwavering reason to stay around……which is my extreme fear of death and the unknown

like…….that’s terrifying and idk how it’s just basically accepted that we as humans exist and then stop existing? and that’s it? like a hs classmate of mine just passed away less than a week ago and i can’t stop thinking about it, i selfishly can’t stop thinking how unfair it is that i am sitting here, literally abusing my body every minute of the day and not taking care of any part of my self and yet my health is essentially perfect?? yet she was genuinely one of the nicest ppl in this horrible town and breast cancer took her life and if that doesn’t prove that this life has no logic at all idk what does

and it’s terrifying bc i can’t comprehend what happens after bc in my mind there just can’t logically be any after but there also can’t logically be nothing so it’s just….overwhelming blankness

so now i wake up every day and i cry on my walk to work because i have the same compulsive thoughts about dying at the same spots on the same walk bc my brain is dumb and repeats everything

but also keep thinking about how that would affect the kids i work with, who tell me they love me every day and hug me even though they’re not supposed to and tell me i’m they’re favorite teacher when they’re not supposed to but it’s really only because i’m the only one that knows pokémon enough to print out the coloring sheets they want so it’s conditional love but i don’t even care bc it’s real to them and to me

but then i cry more bc i love them too but i still want to die and they would move on quickly but it would still be something in their life that they certainly dont deserve and wouldn’t understand

so i go to work and i pretend to be a good, caring person and it’s exhausting bc i am not, so i get home and it’s like a switch is flipped and i am an entirely different person with no moral compass and no desire to connect with anyone or be around anyone or do anything…..like at this point i have alienated everyone in my life and can’t see myself getting to a place where i can build connections again, my only social interactions rn are work and i get frustrated that i have to make the same small talk with my coworkers every day, i get frustrated that i have to partake in social niceties or that im expected to go to holiday parties and have lunches with these people who don’t actually know me and i don’t actually know them??

i did have thanksgiving with my family tonight and i know i have so much love for them, and i felt safe there for that time……but there was still this underlying emptiness to everything and even conversations with them, the people i am closest with and really the only ones i talk to anymore, felt surface level in a way that frustrates me and i can’t articulate it accurately but it’s exhausting and i am tired

and i was getting more anxious as i was getting ready to leave my parents bc the time alone after being with family is the hardest for me and my dad turned to my sister…..who had just had another fight with her husband….and said “just so you know, you can stay here tonight, you’re always welcome to stay here” and i started crying on my way home because that’s what i needed to hear tonight but he wouldn’t know that bc i can’t vocalize my emotions like a functional adult and go out of my way to make it seem like i’m doing better than i am so that my mom doesn’t worry

i know i need more help in terms of my mental health (also not in denial abt how bad my eating disorder is rn but that’s another issue that i’m not going to write another novel about rn) but idk what that looks like in my life rn and it’s hard when my depression is this bad because i keep coming back to “yeah i need more help but also it’s all pointless anymore lol” so i just go through my days completed detached and telling myself that any way i can cope is okay bc instagram told me 💖✨if all u did was survive today that is okay✨💖 but really it’s just me enabling apathy and destructive behaviors and moving targets of “i’ll do better once xyz”

idk how to end this post other than to say again that i am safe, just obviously not in a good place mentally but very much able to keep myself alive (i’ve been jaded by too many “instagram cares” messages after posting lol) (i know this is tumblr) (still jaded)

[selfcareparker]

(lovely anon) i'm so happy to finally be answering this oh my goodness hi gorgeous human being i feel that it has been too long 🥲 SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE WRITTEN ONE OF THESE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

to answer the things you have said most recently- i'm so mad that spring break is over bc now i have to go back to life??? like dancing and school and shit that feels so unnessacry 😭 and like i can't just do nothing anymore? i was so used to it and now...... ugh. i STILL haven't played sims (i think it's because ✨depression✨ be hitting sometimes) lol but MWAHAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR!AU AND THAT THEY HAD LITTLE BABY LEO!! i feel the name thing.. i just come up with something that sounds nice? i think leo is a nice name, it makes me think about lea michele and the fact that her son's name is Ever Leo but anyway. i don't name my sims after what i want to name my children irl either... idk why though. (i don't know why i'm telling you this but for boy names i love Liam🥰 and if i had twin boys i think i would do Liam and Peter though i am not married to the name Peter.... anywho)

LMAOOO the therpaist coming made me laugh thank you :)) i hope it's helpful? this may be tmi but i've only really had negative thoughts recently and not many healthy outlets so i'm hoping crossing one thing off this sad list will make me feel better :') i think during spring break my anxiety and my depression really spiked? idk, it comes in episodes but yeah THIS GOT REALLY SAD

i think a lot of things when i read your posts but i never say them hahaha so imma say it now: i googled what bon appetit meant ( i also just had to google how to spell it ) but ur right, i feel like bone apple tea makes more sense than bone apple teeth.. the "th" is throwing me off bc how i say it bone appa (like app-a) teet (like you're saying tit but teet lol) so bone apple tea makes more sense to me lol

i never know really know the time difference for anything lmao but est to germany (that's not gmt is it?) is like 6 hours wOAH so it's like 9pm while it’s 3pm here? wowee

i feel mega weird after watching this show called hollywood (darren criss is in it, so is laura harrier and a bunch of other people) but i don't like it💀 i feel really icky rn and idk why but reading your last response to my ask (?) always makes me feel better :')

i am doing what you said btw, i'm typing this on my computer first then gonna transfer it to my phone's tumblr lol but when you said a digital detox, it's interesting cuz i feel like i've been having one since tom's new project was announced? gOD i don't wanna get into it bc i get so triggered but i've been off of instagram since then bc instagram stans literally stand by tom through whatever even when something ain't right- i’m just gonna leave it there bc i’ll continue the rant, but yeah so i took a break lol

also heard abt your driving lesson thing (?) was it that bad? i can't find the old post but someone asked if you hooked up with your lesson person and i was sOOO CONFUSED LMAOO LIKE OK ARIA GET SOME BUT UHH HUH?

now to address the actual response HAHA the way you touch my heart :') by :') bringing :') up :') halle :') being ariel :') (i honest to God don't remember if i brought this up first, forgive me if i did, it's been a minute lmao) i'm always talking about it and i'm pretty sure my family is so tired of me talking about it lmao, but YEAH when i found out they weren't twins i was so surprised but idk why i always thought they were twins? but YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE WITH THE DISNEY TALK- everyone is always like "tiana is my favorite princess" and yea she's strong and stuff but...... she was a frog. for almost the whole time. it's about time we got another one!! i do agree with some people on the fact that disney should just make another black princess but halle is adorable and i was ariel on stage so it's already really special to me :')

yeah lol there are good times with my brothers but they make me mad for a good portion of the time (there's the 12yo vincent and the 7yo daniel but vincent??? psshhh he is a piece of work and i'm not sure how much longer i can put up with him HAJAH AND YES VINCENT IS THE ONE WHO WAS 👁👄👁WHEN I CRIED AND THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC- writing this now makes it sound like vincent is awful. which he isn't... we're working on him ig. not to add to the awfulness but no, he listens to obnoxious loud VIDEO GAME MUSIC and won't stop when we ask him to stop... he gets beat up a lot) anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌

yeah let me know if you end up watching it (wandavision)! i think it's great but if you like it lmk!! tfatws is sooo good like PHEW i am honestly loving it. sidenote: j*hn w*lker makes me wanna jump through the screen and choke him to the ground. i was thinking right, and the falcon and the winter soldier (THATS SO MUCH EASIER FAJHKDAH) would techinally be like a 10 hour movie right? because every episode is an hour long and there'll be 10 episodes? like wow. i get what you mean though, abt the racism in the show etc, like looking forward to it but not like..... no i get what you mean i will not try and give another example lol but you make me wanna learn more languages like really badly (bc of what you said about the german to american translation) & if you end up watching hamilton PLEASE LMK ABT THAT TOO HAHAHA i love it so much, same thing with lion king lmaoo

speaking of germany, i was at lunch on saturday with my mom and her friend and we were talking about my schooling and like-- she planted this idea in my head lol like what if i just got my GED and went around the world (to england probably) to get a theatre experience??? and i think it sounds so cool but no where near practical lol, it's just..... the dream haha and i would then try and learn a language 😉

uh yes we absolutely should order basically a resturant meal at a cinema, how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?

also about cherry (which i still haven't watched yet lol) i got the timestamps from tumblr😌 i couldn't find them anywhere else, but i agree, i probably wouldn't even look twice at cherry if tom wasn't in it? like i liked tdatt a lot, but it's not a movie i would be itching to see ya know?

HAHAHAHA THE 24 HOUR NOTIFICATION- i think i have around 1030 hours on sims? but i've had it since 2019 lmao (reading the screenshots, yes u are 100% a genuis, i take screenshots too but on anon you can't upload them so i just read them and retype what i wrote lmao) i think the university experience in the game is fun, but time consuming and it's all work imo. idk why i do it so often tho 😭😭😭

and agreed!! when you're making good money in the game you have to find other ways to make it interesting. my cousins who play it just continously do "motherlode" and i'm like.... then what do you do in your game?? it just sounds boring to me... my current sims household, i had a famous comedian sim, her name was dylan, aND SORRY IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS BC ITS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE UNI THING UNLESS IM JUST DUMB, she went to college for communications when i wanted her to be a comedian and when she graduated i realized that degree did nothing for the career 🥲 so yeah, i think i'm just dumb. but she had a kid in college, guy didn't stick around and she was pretty broke HA but then she got married to this (great) guy named steve, made good bank, had 5 more kids (two sets of twins and one more lol) but then she passed. uhm... yeah that's still an open wound . lol i'm kidding, but when you get rich like that, you have to find a way to make the game interesting and i chose a million kids.

(this was one giant paragraph until i broke it up uhh yeah) i seriously don't pay attention to the sims prices and just end up spending way too much money and not being able to finish the rest of the house😭 but then again, i'm so used to having sims live in apartments... if i end up building a house FIRST OF ALL it'll look like what you explained before lmao but i'll tell you if i actually end up building a house HAHA & planning out your sims game is so fun to me lol, did enisa and michael take in his daughter yet? i may be thinking too far ahead lol and i love that they fucked woohooed (i say woo woo lol) in celebration HAHA but when i was playing with this one couple i had them woo woo every night hoping the dude would have horrible pull out game and they would concieve, but one night they were too tired and i was like why? get back in there man. if i was in college and lived with my partner we would be fucking every night homie. be grateful. i have been talking a lot about sims, and like you said: enough 💀 i just love this game a lot 😭😭

SORRY LAST THING i think the sims romantic and sexual stuff is so nice bc its what i want?? LMAO IDK like the whole hot tub thing you're talking about- puh lease ITS JUST NICE TO SEE OKAY

i'm reading the german section over again and i said aloud "my german friend is so cool" lol (i was saying that to my brothers & i know they don't care LMAO) (& i'm glad the uni zoom call went well!!) so on a form, in german, it could possibily say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer because you would be a participant to an introductory event? i swear german sounds so cool 😌 but i love reading your german lessons!! it's really interesting, most of the time my brain can't comprehend it tho?? like that word makes sense to you, but i need a translation. like to be able to look at that and know what it says.... its just appealing and seems so cool lol i kinda wanna write something out in german but i feel that google translate will fail me. während googeln "google übersetzen" mein Computer war so verdammt langsam und es fühlte sich einfach wie etwas Gutes auf Deutsch zu sagen. ich bin nicht sicher, welches Wort ist "fucking", aber ich mag es lmao (did it fail me like i thought it would??)

LMAOOO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP JUSTIN BC WHILE AT THE RESTURANT THEY PLAYED A JUSTIN SONG AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AND THIS STORY😭 lol i was thinking it's depending on your age but not even that either... i really don't know.... but tom's fans are hollanders💀 i would consider myself one? he's the only person i'm really into like that (like a lot lol) so idk lmao (directioners 💔💔the pain is real)

LMAOOO (both of these paragraphs started off with “lmaooo” smh) "i like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death" PLEASE, i don't like pete's blonde hair... i just don't. i'm not sure if i wasn't watching the most recent snls but yea. my mom thinks he looks like trash, but i think he's okay? like he said staten island people just look like trash LMAO and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN KING OF STATEN ISLAND GIRL I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!! now i'm gonna make plans to watch it lmao, & yes agreed i find pete hot, don't ask why i really couldn't explain it to someone he's just .

my favorite songs from rex are from pony oh my goodness 🥺 anywho i'm gonna go eat cereal (i ended up eating bun and cheese instead) and listen to the Stormzy songs you recommended... aria. aria aria aria. i would like to thank you for introducing me to stormzy i- i don't have any words or any emojis to express HOW GOOD STORMZY IS. i hope he's popular in germany/the uk because i haven't heard of him but GURLLLL

one second - delicious i love it. it's really good. it’s not my favorite from the album, but its great.

superheroes - at first i played the non-explicit one (on accident) and wondered why the words weren't playing but i was reading them in the lyrics??? THIS ONE THOUGH??? IS THE BEST SONG I THINK I'VE EVER HEARD. i am so SO SO into black people empowering songs (like brown skin girl by beyonce) and this song???? PHEW I CRYYYYY ITS SO GOOD.... i was gonna quote some lyrics BUT THERS TOO MANY I LOVE, "i am young, black, beautiful, and brave" "black queen, you're immaculate, it's coming at the world, they ain't ready for your magic yet, and that was never your fault" THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT- I ALMOST CRIED THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i played it twice lol)

lessons is another beautiful one, like its slow and it feels intimate and nurturing and just OO chefs kiss, beautiful . like you can feel the apology and the regret... it’s so good

own it - OWN IT OWN IT OWN IT IS AMAZING!! swear you would catch me dancing to this song, this song is so fucking good i cannot comprehend like this one might be my favorite for real... "it's the way you wind up your waist, i'm so in awe, you never have to worry abt nothing, you know its yours, you know you own it" 🥲 i played it two or three times honestly

rachael's little brother - YES I DID LISTEN TO IT LMAO AND YES I LIKE IT, its a very complex song and it's very layered in terms of emotions i think and i really like that about it. i probably won't listen to it that often, but its really good. i would recommend this song to my "older brother" bc he would just absolutely love this

shut up - i was taking this song seriously (also very good) until i heard him say shu-T up LMAO, this one is good, i probably wouldn't listen to it 24/7 like rachael's little brother but honestly its still fire

before listening to blinded by your grace and vossi bop, i know you brought up the religion bit, i definitely don't mind that, especially because i'm Christian lol and i actually liked that he brought up God in some of his songs like idk i just like it🥰🥰

(i then went to bed after that lol but first thing in the morning i listened to superheroes and... that song is probably my favorite tbh, i was gonna write MORE quotes that i loved from it but, yeah no there's too many. if you want i'll tell you lmao but this is already so long i would just be quoting the whole friggin song)

VOSSI BOP IS A BOP (lol) I CANT EVEN LIE, i love a song that hypes up a dude's girl so the line- i love that my phone decided to fail to load the lyrics, lemme google it, okay the lyric "looking at my girl like what a goddess" i was like AYEEE its honestly just really good. and no one in america says "sauce" like "i've got the sauce" but now i do (thanks to love island and Nas from last season) and now stormzy so (also im gonna watch the music video for superheroes bc it looks great so 😛)

(because this is already so long i feel like i shouldn't finish the rest but . no i'm gonna do it)

now for blinded by your grace pt2 idk why i’m nervous lmaoo PAUSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE SONG GIRL THIS SONG IS *chefs kiss* no words, speechless PHEW y'all gon make me start jumping around. why did i not know about stormzy before, he is amazing i- ok yeah i finished the song, all i have to say is that Stormzy is immaclucate. period. i am literally sending his music to all my friends he is..... amazing

you want my song recommendations 🥺🥺 hmm uh okay lol i listen to a lot of old music, whitney houston, marvin gaye, queen, celine dion, i love "more than words" by extreme uhmm okay, but for actual music i listen to on the daily? (this is a lot of different music like.... they do not go together lmao so be prepared) a song about being sad by rex orange county, betty by taylor swift and lover by taylor swift and... most of that album lol, treasure by bruno mars lmao, OOOO and versace on the floor by bruno as well, lazybaby by dove cameron, creep by tlc has been on repeat lol, deja vu by olivia rodrigo (i saw what you said about drivers license and AGREED LMAO but i like deja vu a lot more haha) and two albums that i listen to in general, rare by selena gomez and ungodly hour by chloe x halle 🥰 you don't have to listen to all of them or any of them lol but that's a sense of what i'm into :) so basically everything haha, i'm into literally every single kind of music really so i wasn't too surprised that i enjoyed stormzy :’)

HAHASBSJHAHA your h20 story cracked me up,, like "wow these actors are so dedicated, learning german just for us" 😭 the beauty of overdubbing

once again, math and maths, in my mind maths makes sense because its mathmatics, but saying maths doesn't feel right to me lol, like if i said maths i feel like everyone would look at me like ??? and yea i was taught it as math so its just more natural for me. but yes math/maths is disgusting, easily one of my least favorite subjects so .

mkay. i- the first time i read this i could not contain my laughter when you said the only pollen you know is sex pollen LMAOKOOSHBABJFAJF STOPPP I'M EVEN LAUGHING WRITING THIS,, anyway. wow! that's interesting, my dad (<<< mostly anything else) gets migraines from the sun and the heat and stuff, yesterday (sunday, i was outside for like hours watching my brothers play football, the american kind lol) i was in the sun for like ever and i got a headache😔

summer clothes🥲 i need to go shopping fr fr. for my birthday my mom and dad got me a giftcard like dedicated to a shopping spree and we've yet to go so..... i should bring it up to my mom lol, but!! i went bra shopping (ended up returning literally all of them cuz they honestly didn't work for day to day work? its a long story) and if i could i would walk around in this new "summer bra" i got, i would. it's so fricking cute and its really light fabric (which isn't perfect for my nipples but still) so i don't get hot in it, but that bra and some shorts would be perfect. its the closest thing to being naked so

IS THE BIRD STILL BOTHERING U ARIA, TELL ME NOW ISTG, i laughed really hard that the bird isn't stupid and is really trying to torture you LMAOO like i was rolling, it wants you to suffer, badly

when you said "mensus" it was still close to mens!!! latin speaking queen 😌😌

okay STORYTIME i was reading back your response and started (fake) crying bc i love you lol and my youngest brother (daniel) gon say "oh man, catherine's crying about something we don't care about, again" I--- i swear when i tell you about them they sound awful, but they aren't that bad, just the stuff i say about them is sounds really mean LMAO

but the thing you said about being kind, same, what i always say is: don't be the person that makes people say "i hate people" ya know? like there's no reason to be a jerk or anything.... but its true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are really kind and every time i talk to you i would like to personally fly to germany and give you a hug 💖💕💞💗💓💝💖💘

& i'm gonna show my stretch marks some love bc of you 🥺😭 i really hate how men have basically everyone conditioned that you can't love your own body </3 fuck them, y'all beautiful :')

also thanks for what you said :')) you literally are the kindest, sweetest person i think i've ever spoken to and i love you 🥰🥺🥲💓💗

READING YOUR TAGS HAHAHHAHA the spelling errors makes everything so much funnier. once again, i like your german lessons & yea!! i'm gonna play sims after writing this hahah

#catherine's tags are back #i don't think i've told you my name before?? #anyway it's catherine🥰🥰🥰 #i'm typing this on my computer (without emojis) and if i didn't edit this you would be reading shit shite like #heartface and pout and cry LMAO #yeah abt the tattoos #some stuff with my parents i'm like deal with it??? lol #my mom tells me "if there's something you enjoy or you like but i don't have the same opinion on it... why would my (my mom's) opinion matter? #and i love that #like i'm not gonna go and do whatever i want #but if my mom doesn't like that i swear (which isn't true just an example) #its like okay.... #but whatever #and your tattoo ideas sound really cute!! #and yeah @ your parents, i mean you aren't getting something wild #and the tattoo album>>> #i'm gonna look up ariana's butterfly tattoos just so i know what you mean lol #but i'm guessing you don't want something so incredibily simple, but not super like over the top? #correct me if i'm wrong lol #LMAO the tags were in order don't worry ! #and yeah lol ily2 <33 #and once again, again, sorry for this post JSHJS ITS A MESS AND LONG AS HELL #and you don't need to go in order of my post its literally longer than your german compound words #u're fine #also !!! while writing this the birds were chirping outside and i was like 😳 #and one of your fics (i’ve read all of them, i don’t remember lol) that valentine’s day one where y/n had lingerie on (the pancake one lol) #inspired me to buy lingerie #like when i look back on me “growing up” #that fic & basically you lol really helped with that #that made no sense and i don’t know how to make it make sense... but... yeah. like ily

hiiiiiiiiiii <3333

Dear catherine, 😌

(you have said your name before, but it wasn‘t like an introduction or anything i think you were talking about .... was it possibly the incident at the cinema??? And you said something like ‘calm down catherine‘ like you were telling yourself to calm down idkd dkdkkdkd anyway i didn‘t mention it cause i wasn‘t sure if it was an accident or not dkdjd but now i know 😌❤️ Catherine is such a cute and lovely name btw omg and so are your brothers‘s names 🥰

Sorry that I‘m answering this so late, it‘s been an emotional rollercoaster for me since last week but i‘ll get to that in a second lol

Sksklssk girl i haven‘t played sims in like 2 weeks now ekejdkdlldld ok that‘s not that long at all actually but i keep wanting to play but then i end up not playing for whatever reason, so no news about my sims game 😔 but i love the names Liam and Peter and for twins!!! That sounds really nice actually

okay i‘m trying to answer your ask in chronological answer even though i wanted to wait for the depressing stuff and write it at the end or something OKAY so. i thought that i‘d feel so good when i start uni and that i‘ll like... have a purpose in life again and just be happy (cause in the last year i didn‘t do much and i was depressed like half of the time lol).... anyway i kind of feel even worse now? 😭 i think it‘s because in my brain it‘s like: university!!! that means your life will change and it‘ll all be so exciting. and don‘t get me wrong it is exciting butttt..... idk the online thing is so weird cause you‘re not meeting any new people (i‘m introverted anyway but still lol) and it doesn‘t feel like you‘re listening to/talking to actual people cause it feels the same as just watching a video?

also i thought i‘d be busy again but i only have one lecture (90mins) a day and theres one day where i dont have any lectures at all and just one day where i have 3 hours but.... idk i mean i shouldn‘t complain about having so much free time but i just don‘t know what to do all day and in a pandemic there really is nothing to do but i also can‘t relax bc it‘s like during the week and i know i have uni the next day and .... yeah.

There‘s also this one assignment i had to do that took me AT LEAST SIX HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING????? so that was the only thing i‘ve been doing besides “going to“ lectures. for this one course we have to read two (really really long) texts (like it literally took me 3 hours to read them) and we‘re supposed to post it on this website that all the professors in our uni use. So after 5 days of anxiety (✌🏼) i posted mine this morning bc last night i realised that i didn‘t even know why i was having anxiety so i just posted mine today. The deadline is tomorrow at 12 and no one except me has posted theirs yet........ so i have anxiety again 🥰 cause idk if i‘m the only one who did it or if i even did it correctly

Edit while i‘m rereading this: my anxiety about uni is a lot better and i‘m not as d*pressed anymore maybe it was just hormones? idk but i‘m better so that‘s good

(I started writing this like 5 hours ago and then i randomly completely forgot lol)

I‘m in a better mood now though so let‘s move on from that (oh wait also, i think i‘m gonna see if i can find a psychiatrist bc with my anxiety symptoms (long story) i need to go to a psychiatrist, and so far i‘ve only gone to like psycholgists and it didn‘t help but i think that‘s just bc i was meant to go to a psychiatrist and not a psychologist so dldjdjsj

n e ways but yes you‘re not alone, ily, things will get better and yes i love you (i‘m not good at this type of thing🥲 but i‘d hug you right now if i could <3)

Yess i think the time difference between est and me is 6hours but gmt is uk time i believe? i think mine is called.... cet? For central european time? I could be completely wrong though lmao

Oof i completely forgot about hollywood, i remember when laura kept posting about it on instagram but i never actually watched it and i definitely won‘t now lmaodkdksjsn

Okay my driving lesson LEBDJDKDK I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH ANYONE AKSJSKSMMLM especially not my 40 or 50 year old driving instructor lol i like her but NOT LIKE THAT, the lesson was really really really good actually and i think i‘ll have my driving test soon, but i don‘t even remember why the anon would have thought that??? Oh wait now i remember okay KEKSKDLDL so during the lesson my instructor was like do you mind if i turn on some music? AND THIS WOMAN TURNED ON ONE DIRECTION I LOVE HER so i made a post about it and i said something about the song up all night and i guess i phrased it in a .... idk in a dumb way 💀 so the anon made a joke that i stayed up with my driving instructor all night and NO. No.

Wait did i read that right? YOU WERE ARIEL ON STAGE? SIALDBDJDKSLMSBDKDMDMDKDJSLSMDJFJJEDMBFEKLEFBJDLDVSIDLESKSKWKDKDJDOWNYUEKWNDUWLNSUFLWVSUDLEHDOENSIDBEISBEHENJELBSIEMWUDNRIW KB WOBE JO ON SBEUU HIII S HWS LV W ICH US KB okay this keyboard smash is getting out of hand but uh please do elaborate on that 💘😌???? Like you can‘t just drop that information and not say more??? I forgot if you‘re in like your school‘s drama group (is that a thing? lol idk anything about acting) or in an independent group? Either way - ARIEL that is so fucking cool

Your brothers loooooool, no i get it though obviously you love them and stuff but esp at their age children are so annoying so good luck with them 😭😭😭lmao

Yeah “anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌“ yeah just me and my parents who constantly fight 🥰 lmao no i like being an only child, like i cannot imagine having siblings but i feel like if i had siblings i would be saying that i can‘t imagine being an only child so? but i do think it‘s quite different like i‘m trying to imagine having siblings and WHAT that‘s just so different omg i‘ve never really thought about it like properly ???

I saw a tik tok the other day that was like “sometimes i forget that my siblings have a life of their own. like i see them as side characters in my life“ and even though i can‘t relate obviously i felt that. lol, like i can really imagine how it feels idk what i‘m talking about like shut the fuck up, daria

(also my actual name is daria not aria but i dont like it, and also i wanted to be more anonymous on tumblr so now i‘m aria lmao. pls don‘t mention it though cause no one knows except for you and mel (peterbenjiparker) dkdkdkdnkdnd. but i‘m starting to identify with the name cause everyone keeps calling me that looool😭😭😭 (but i like the name, more than daria anyway? well it also depends on the accent, cause the way germans say daria is okay. the was Americans say it is also okay, but some of my family in England are from the north of england and i don‘t like how they say my name 💀 no offence to them(?) but yeah pls don‘t mention the name in your ask cause the chance of people seeing it is higher then (or if you want to say something about it just send a separate ask and i just won‘t post it (IDK what you‘d want to say about my name but yeah just in case slsldlldmsndnsns)

I‘m loving falcon and winter soldier so much but when i was watching an episode the week before last week (?) my laptop broke😭😭😭😭 during the scene where the dora milaje came at the end my laptop just shut down? And it had these lines all over the screen and i had to bring it to the shop where i bought it and they said it‘ll take 6-8 weeks to repair 💔💔💔 but at least it‘ll be for free, cause if i brought it back to apple it would cost like 400€ (i think that‘s nearly 500$) so yeah. but it sucks cause now i‘m “going to uni“ on a really old rusty laptop and on my phone which kinda sucks. oh yeah and also i can‘t watch anything on there 😭 i definitely want to watch wandavision but it‘ll have to wait🤧

Yessss you should def get your GED! I googled and I‘m still not entirely sure what it is dldks but from how you described it- YES!!!!!!

Idk if you know this? Like no idea if I‘ve told you this already (hmmm wait i feel like we talked about it actually?) anyway i was originally gonna go study in England, but for loads of reasons I ended up staying in Germany and I‘m def happy with my decision, but I definitely want to go to England sometime even if it‘s just for six months or maybe for my masters or something? And (obviously everyone is different) but i think everyone should go abroad and live in a different country once in their life, no matter if it‘s for school or what, and even if it‘s just for a few weeks. But i think that‘s something that you‘d never ever forget! And combining that with your acting/theatre??? You really would be living the dream 💘💘😌

how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?— sounds good see you soon 🥰🥰🥰

i used to be one of the people who‘d just do motherlode motherlode motherlode and just... what did i do? Why did i do that??? But not anymore lol. Like I said i haven‘t played sims in a few weeks but i‘ve been watching a few legacy challenge let‘s plays and usually i play with the aging off. So my sims just don‘t age 💀 but i could (should) turn aging on so that it stays exciting and i have limited time and everything. and once i get bored with my current sims i can just make them have kids and continue playing as their children when they get older- like recently i remembered that i haven‘t played the acting career in ages? and i haven‘t had a shop in ages? and i think you can even become a vet right??? like those are definitely some things i want to do in the next weeks!!! Also yes sksksjs i have a few hundred hours on sims as well (if not thousands 😭) it was just that one household that i‘d been playing with for 24hrs

AND GIRL SSKSKJD THE UNIVERSITY THING HAPPENED TO ME TOO, it was a while ago so i don‘t remember what degree and what job it was about but i made my sim study something for aaaaaages so she‘d get a better job from the beginning (you know what i mean like get in at a higher level)...... and i apparently studied the wrong thing cause i didn‘t get any benefits from studying and still had to start at level 1 and shit 🥴🥲

Oh also (this was like 2 weeks ago) Enisa and Michael did take in Michael‘s daughter and i think Enisa currently even has a higher/better relationship with the daughter than Michael but um💀💀💀 also i was hoping (since michael and enisa married (in their back yard i think lol) that the daughter (i forget what her name is😭) would have enisa as her step mom? Like you know how you can see the relationship and it says daughter or son or sister.. and i was hoping that it would say step mom but it doesn‘t say anything 🥲 but in my mind (and if the sims had proper family relations) she is her step mom😌 also Leo is a teenager now???? I mean I aged him up lol dkdk he was being too annoying as a toddler but i don‘t like children so i aged him up twice in one day and now he‘s a teen, but that means he can look after his half sister when she becomes a toddler which is good (the game recognises them as siblings tho even if they‘re just half siblings? why can‘t they have step family members in the sims🥲) okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

I‘ve been a bit sick these past few days and now i‘m getting a headache so i have to finish this response tomorrow 😭😭😭 </3

.

It‘s not tomorrow, it‘s 3 hours later but i‘m better lol

oooff when sims are ungrateful and won‘t woo woo (lol i like that) cause they‘re too tired like?? Be grateful that you‘re not living with your parents anymore 🙄 no okay dkdkdkdl idk if you play with mods (i don‘t) but i know there is a mod (or it‘s part of a mod idk maybe wicked whims?) where you can adjust the percentage of how risky a normal woo woo is, like you still click woo woo (3dksksks okay i‘ll say woohoo again— wait is that what’s it called? 😭) but there‘s like a 25% chance that your sim can still get pregnant just like in real life there‘s always a chance of getting pregnant even if you‘re using protection (just not 25% lmao) but yeah i personally don‘t play with mods sksk and you can always just click try for baby but it would be cool if you could add stuff like risky woohoo to the game without mods (i have no idea how to download mods and i play sims on a really really old laptop and sims is literally tje only thing that works on it anyway so—) i repeat my words from earlier: okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

okay i‘m so sorry i‘m gonna watch fast & furious 1 now cause i need to watch f&f 1-5 until the 30th of april cause they‘re only on netflix til then (i mean i could watch them somewhere else but the quality is never as good) so i will finish this tomorrow after all😭

it is now 1 am, i finished the film, can feel a new obsession coming up again (i always have these f&f obsessions for six months before and after a new film comes out)

THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE wkekdjdj tbh it sounds like someone is speaking with some kind of foreign accent i guess that‘s probably because it just is a direct translation and so anyway slsjsj i don‘t know if you asked me what the word fucking is in german? like idk cause the translation is a bit weird but in case you asked lol sidjsjs theres not really a good translation like we just say fuck for fuck lmao, i don‘t know if you typed in fucking in google translate and it came out as verdammt? cause that means damn (or damned sksjjs) ummm yeah idek if/what you asked so imma move on🤧

I‘m not gonna comment on what you said about every stormzy song cause you already said all the important things but SKSKSJSJSKNSNDBDUDOENWBSLSKKHSULSLSKSBSJSKSK I WAS SMILING SO HARD WHEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i know someone who loves him as much as i do 💘💘💘 also since you brought it up, i‘m pretty sure he‘s considered the most successful UK rapper or if not then at least top 3 so he‘s defffffffffinitely big in the uk, in germany more and more people are listening to uk rap too but not as much stormzy cause theyre dumb apparently 🙄 but anywY i‘m sooooo sooo happy that you like him. i think hith came out end of 2019 (i could be wrong but i think it came out on the 13th of december so (in a european way) you‘d write the date: 13.12 and obviously i don‘t KNOW this but i can definitely imagine that he chose that date because ACAB and yes, Michael. Yes. But he hasn‘t made too much music since then so i hope he‘s working on some new stuff 🤞🏼

Also i ordered the stormzy poster😌 also a nicki minaj one bc i decided i‘m gonna have one wall with red-ish posters (i already have two kinda red ones) and one with blue/green-ish posters (already have two) and i can add stormzy to the blue one and nicki to the red one, but i think that‘s it cause if my walls are tooo full it could look cluttered? I‘m not sure how that type of thing works lmao but my room is generally untidy so i don‘t want the walls to look unorganised too so i think that‘s it for now

I really want to finish this now but my brain is getting kinda slow and i need to sleep soon so this will have to wait till later after all 🥺🥴 (not that it makes and difference to you bc you‘ll see this whenever i post it buttttt i wanted you to know that i want to talk to you again but with my slow brain i‘m just taking too long to do it in one day😭😭😭 and i‘m so busy tomorrow hmm but i‘m sure i‘ll have 30 minutes to finish this then <3)

Okay wait I‘m so dumb I didn‘t realise I‘d nearly answered everything i could have posted this yesterday 😭😭

Oooohh that summer bra sounds so nice like if i was confident enough i literally would just wear a top that resembles a bra (or really is a bra lol) cause my tiddies always be looking amazing i‘m just insecure about my stomach sometimes 🙄🙄🙄 but recently i‘ve been loving myself more and more tbh 😌

also i hope you can go shopping for some nice clothes soon ✨😌

I‘ll be honest I haven‘t listened to your song recs YET but only because i wanna take my time with them and i‘ve been so busy and slso AJ tracey‘s album came out last week and I haven‘t listened to that one yet either so ekdkdj (he‘s also a uk rapper like quite popular and successful as well, but i feel like i‘m not gonna like his album cause whenever i‘m looking forward to an album it ends up being really bad and the albums where you weren‘t expecting it turn out to be bangers.... so yeah but i‘ll let you know when i listen to your songs!!!! :)

Omg i keep having to scroll up all the way to see the next thing you said so sorry if I completely miss some of the things you said😭😭

So when you sent this the bird was still bothering me oh my FUCK DKDLDMMDMDMD but now i‘ve been going to bed at like 1-2am so the bird is probably still asleep lool

Okay and for the rest of your ask my response is: 💘💖❣️💚❣️💛❣️💛💕💞❤️💓💟💞💕💕💖💘💝💟💟🧡❤️🧡💞💛💚💓💚💚💚❣️🧡💖💘🧡💝🧡💕💘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥰🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘 (okay that looked cuter in my head i don‘t really like the green hearts dldkkdksndnd)

[hwangskz]

in another life (pt. 1) | soulmate! minho

part 1 of the uwma! au series !!!! i was so excited to get this up bcs, if u hadn't realised alrdy, i LOVE uwma with my entire heart :( (ps if any of u watch any bls or even just uwma pls hmu thank u) and pls read this post b4 or after ur done reading this fic so u don't get confused in the next part!! +++ tw suicide !

• "y/n….do u like him?"

• ur automatically reminded of the time u first met

• u remember it as clear as day

• u both had taken film as ur major and on the first day, ur college held a lil gathering

• u picked up the nearest headband and read it's label

• 'belle'

• so….were u supposed to find ur beast now???? JSGSSHE THAT'S WHAT THEY SAID

• BUT UR RUNNING OUT OF TIME !!!!!!

• "10 seconds to find ur partner!!!!"

• u looked around bcs u were NOT standing in front of that huge crowd, later trying to find ur partner

• when a boy caught ur eyes

• he stood on the side, his hand limply holding the blue headband as he looked around

• and he looked ?? sad :( ??

• "last 5 seconds!!!"

• u turned around one last time and ?? EVERYONE HAD FOUND THEIR PARTNERS ALREADY??

• so u RAN towards that boy

• and caught him off guard as u pulled him down to sit on the ground as the announcer continued talking and giving out future tasks 

• "hey."

• "???"

• wow this boy is worse than YOU at communicating

• "are u sure we're partners??"

• "..."

• "right, yea. i was the one who dragged u..haha..sorry.."

• so u pulled his hand up to view his headband

• 'prince adam'

• u probably looked really confused rn bcs u just made the guy speak up

• "beast."

• u looked up, OBVIOUSLY confused

• this new voice box working??? wonder whose it is

• ":o huh?????"

• he sighed and held it up for u

• thank u nameless boy bcs ur hands kinda WERE getting tired JDKHD

• "prince adam is the real name of the prince in disney's beauty and the beast."

• ":OOO REALLY???? wait but how do u know"

• "..... google?"

• "... RIGHT sorry haha"

• even after the lil gathering ended and u got to go to ur class

• ur mind was still thinking abt the guy

• u probably didn't even notice u had entered the class w that DULL ASS look until

• "ouc- WHO THE F-???????"

• "still in ur dreams?? lmao dumbass"

• ":O SHIN RYUJIN"

• "this group needed the following of a sane person so im here too. hello to u too, y/n"

• "MISS YEJI??? PEOPLE THAT I KNOW AND CHERISH????? ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥᷄⌓˂̣̣̥᷅ )‧º·˚ OMG HELLO TO U TOO"

• and there it was, once again, ryujin trying to get ur over affectionate ass off of her as yeji laughs 

• well iN UR DEFENSE, U MISSED UR BEST FRIENDS AND MEETING NEW PEOPLE TERRIFIES U

• and when u take a seat

• u can't help but follow the movements of the boy who enters the class

• his moves aren't rushed; they seem calm. too calm.

• and that's when u hear all the whispers around u

• "is that blood on his shirt? is he already following in his dad's footsteps?"

• ‘what footsteps?’

• "i heard he dragged his partner today for the freshman gathering today?"

• ‘but i was the one who dragged him..then how-’

• "y/n?"

• "h-huh?" 

• yeji's third call woke u up from ur train of thoughts

• "are u ok?"

• "yea.. i'm fine. dw!!"

• "see i told u they’re thinking abt their fantasy boys and/or girls again it's fine"

• "WH- EXCUSE ME I DON'T FANTASISE!!!!!"

• "yes y/n l/n i totally believe that"

• "SHUT UP RYUJIN"

• ur group's laughters echo in the room, along w the other friend groups'

• except for that boy who now sits in front of u

• u wonder if he's waiting for his friends

• but they never seem to show up

• even though it's alrdy been over 5 months now

• and that pretty boy in front of u is DISTRACTING u from the lesson (๑•ૅㅁ•๑) !!!!!

• and this one particular day..yeji and ryujin were absent..

• so u were kinda lonely anyways

• and hearing ppl continue to whisper abt that guy..it made u wanna talk to him again

• u don't know exactly why ?? but u did

• so u gathered up ur stuff from ur desk

• and sat at the desk next to his

• and immediately u could hear the whispers getting a bit louder

• and he ducked his head and turned towards u

• and u decided to ignore those words, and looked at him, with a bright smile on ur face

• "don't worry about them. i'm here now."

• it was something abt u

• something abt those words that made him feel some type of way

• he took in a deep breath as he looked down and then looked at u again

• "......thank you, i guess"

• u nodded and he turned towards his work

• a small smile on his face

• he had found someone

• "so?"

• ryujin asked u, bringing u back from ur flashback

•"yea..i think so.."

• yeji and ryujin sighed

• ur mind : ALERT

• IS IT BAD??? THAT U LIKE HIM???? (๑´╹‸╹`๑) ??

• "y/n...do u not know abt him..?"

• "(o゜ー゜o)??"

• they share a Look and turn towards u, worried looks on their faces

• OK YEA IT PROBABLY IS,,

• "he's the son of a mafia... that's why ppl talk abt him in such..hushed tones..and basically isolate him"

• "and look y/n..we know that isolating him is truly bad, but maybe get a little away? from him? what if u get involved in smthg bad?"

• u...ur honestly a lil shocked

• not fully by the news that his dad is a mafia

• but by the fact that they think something bad can happen when ur with him

• with HIM

• "but it's his dad who is a mafia. he's not at all like that !! he's a bit shy, and is just scared to express himself. and don't worry, yeji. i am not going to get myself in trouble"

• they muttered an "okay" and leaned back against their chairs again

• "but wait.."

• ryujin spoke up again

• "when did u even hangout w him? enough to, well, get feelings for him?"

• "uh well..that day both of u were absent, i went and sat w him in class..then shared some of my lunch w him when i saw him on the rooftop..and kind of having been bringing him lunch and staying w him..during that time.."

• they laughed, and u could feel the tension easing away

• "never knew y/n's a dom lmao"

• "they seem like a switch tho"

• "SHUT UP"

• and so u did join the guy 

• (who's name u had learned to be lee minho)

• whenever u found him to be lonely

• and even tho minho seemed to be against the whole idea of u joining him all the time

• trust me he's a whole softie inside

• he just ;;;; he gets so happy whenever u come by

• and not just bring him lunch

• and not only during lunch breaks

• but all the time

• whenever he passes by u

• u always greet him, and 

• wave at him and u just feel like a shield from everyone and all the bad things everyone says and he just

• he can't thank u enough

• but it's not just that

• and he knows that

• even when he sees u coming towards him in the library

• sneaking in some food bcs it IS lunch

• so technically u ARE supposed to bring him food

• "hey !! :D"

• u take the chair in front of him

• and take out the food, both of urs, and shove his one towards him

• "WHY-"

• minho shushes u and u turn around to look if u made anyone else angry

• and perhaps...... u DID.... AJSBBE

• so u just duck ur head as an apology and the furious students go back to studying

• "why are u studying rn???? it's lunch!!!!!"

• "ok and??"

• "rest is important!!"

• "what makes u think i haven't rested enough alrdy?"

• "well i've seen u w the book the ENTIRE DAY ??"

• minho sighs, but then perks his head up

• "u..u watch me..?"

• "!! im not a STALKER-"

• minho shushes u again and ur pretty sure the other students r staring daggers at u rn JDVSJE

• "-im not a stalker,, ur in my class.. right in front of me.."

• minho chuckles silently at ur words

• "sure"

• u were flustered until u realised u just

• u just made the biggest tsundere chuckle

• c h u c k l e

• "did u just …….. chuckle at me…….."

• minho looked down, scared to meet ur eyes bcs shit ur rite

• "no…….what makes u think that………"

• u giggle at his failed attempt to delete that successful moment from ur memory

• minho smiles a little

• he was so happy

• even tho it was abt u

• even tho u had made it CRYSTAL CLEAR that u like him

• like at random times u would be like

• "damn i can't believe i fell for u"

• or

• "oh good lord!! i always try to hangout w the guy i like but he pretends to not like spending time with me!!!!!!! what did i do to deserve this !!!!!!"

• and in these situations what does minho do??

• LAUGH .

• he LAUGHS

• just a bit bcs he's still under that tsundere cover JSGSJSB

• but like !!!!!!! in his defense !!!!!!!

• HE DIDNT KNOW IF U TRULY MEANT IT !!!!!!!

• MAYBE U LIKE HIM JUST AS A FRIEND !!!!!!!!!!!!

• AND HE DIDN'T WANT TO RUIN THIS FRIENDSHIP !!!!!!!!

• that too w his first ever friend..................

• little did he know he was truly so engrossed in his thoughts that he had stopped eating and had been staring at the sky above for like ??? more than 5 mins now ??

• "MINHO ???????"

• he flinched and moved away a bit at the sound of ur voice suddenly piercing his thoughts

• "w-what"

• "bitch i thought u died or smthg...u have been staring above for so long pretty sure some flies even touched ur food and it's now UNHYGIENIC"

• his eyes met urs and, as if he got some idea, he suddenly kept his lunch box away to look at u

• "wait im pretty sure the flies didn't sit on the food!!!! it was a joke-"

• minho exhaled loudly before he spoke

• "y/n?"

• "yes…?"

• "can i ask u smthg…..?"

• "sure!!"

• minho inhaled sharply before continuing

• "do u ever feel uncomfortable? when ur with me?"

• u thought for a while, before giving him a smile and answering him

• "why would i? idk if ur referring to the rumors here...or if they're supposed to be involved here but...they don't affect me. firstly, i don't even know if ur dad truly is a part of the mafia-"

• "he is."

• minho was staring at u intently, wondering how u'll respond to this

• "well, uh, nice for him? i guess? but it's him right? not u? then there's nothing to worry about."

• minho shook his head as he tried to look anywhere but at u

• "but what if u ever get in trouble? bcs of me?"

• "that's on me. not u. and if it's through u, or if u ever get in trouble or smthg-"

• u picked his hand up, holding it tightly, which seemed to catch him off guard

• "-i will protect u."

• he could do nothing but give u a soft smile, before turning his head away

• and so did u bcs damn y/n since when did u become so confident huh JDVSJE

• so u decided to go for it

• "y/n, will u be my partne-"

• u gently pecked his lips before moving away real QUICK JSGEJE

• WAS HE ABT TO CONFESS ???????????

• WHY ARE HIS EYES WIDENED LIKE THAT?????????? DID U

• OH NO U DID SOMETHING WRONG DIDN'T U

• "i-i'm sorry….i didn't mean to-"

• and u looked up in time, only to see minho leaning in, before he connected his lips to urs

• it was a slow kiss

• it took u a while to get the fact into ur head that he's right here

• he is kissing u

• and so u snaked ur arms across his shoulders, as he held u tight, even closer

• and when u both pulled away

• both of u were flushed red

• and it did feel kinda quiet so u just

• "damn im glad we have lunch on the rooftop, huh"

• minho chuckled as he moved away

• "kinda ….. yes"

• and so for the next months u continued to tease him with this JDGSJS

• even tho yall are technically dating now uwu

• but he never tells u he likes u

• which is : frustrating

• bcs u !!!!!! UR THE BIGGEST OVERTHINKER EVER !!!!!!

• ENOUGH TO WIN A CHAMPIONSHIP !!!!!!!!!

• and the fact that EVEN THO he's ur bf and u KNOW it, u continue to be curious if he even likes u :(

• so u just slam ur spoon on the table

• which makes him look up

• "what? is the ramen too spicy?"

• u shoot ur head towards him, a pout on ur face

• "do u like me?"

• ".........what"

• JSHSKWKKW

• Y/N PLS

• "u never….u have never said u like me…...and yea sure im not supposed to question this bcs ur my boyfriend and i know that but im sorry i overthink alot and it's just me saying i like u all the time but not u and i just can't help but-"

• "i …….. i like."

• "huh?"

• u shoot ur head upwards at minho, who now gets up to keep his empty bowl in ur kitchen sink, with a grin along ur face

• "u heard me."

• and u wish u could still be as happy as u were on this day

• when he first confessed

• well, half-confessed

• but u couldn't be

• even as he stood in front of u, saying that he loves u

• and he's grateful for u

• u couldn't stop the tears that continued to stream down ur cheeks

• ur eyes could only focus on the gun that he held right beside his temple

• his dad used to send people behind minho whenever u two went on a date

• "he wants me to go on w his job after he resigns" minho had once told on one of ur dates

• "do u want to?"

• "no, obviously-"

• he held ur hand in his

• "i want to be with u"

• then why

• why was he standing there, with that gun

• that stupid gun aimed at his temple?

• today while u had closed ur eyes, wishing for something, like minho had told u when he brought that birthday cake for u out of nowhere while u and minho were having ur date

• u opened ur eyes when u heard a muffled voice screaming loudly

• only to find it was minho's

• which confused u when u saw the hand covering his mouth

• but surprised u, when u saw his dad standing right behind him

• he kept pulling minho away from u

• minho yelled, tried to free himself away

• but couldn't

• until u yelled at his dad to stop

• and minho dropped on the ground, with his wrists red from being grasped so tightly

• u went on and on abt how he has made minho feel and what minho truly wants

• u had shut ur eyes out of fear

• but u had opened them to see what minho truly wants

• death ;

• an escape

• from all of this

• and so he spoke one more time

• "y/n. remember, i love you, okay? i….i'll always keep my promise."

• and then, a gunshot.

• u weren't sure if time had stopped or if it was just u frozen

• but u could only hear a beep sound going in ur ears as his body dropped on the ground

• limp.

• and at once u leapt towards him, sobbing, u fell to ur knees, ur hands grazing his cheeks and gently hitting his chest

• "y/n…. i don't know how to go on…"

• he had told u this months ago, when u guys had been dating for abt 5 months then

• "minho, we'll always be together, no matter what. i, at least, will be there for u, always."

• minho had looked at u with tears in his eyes 

• he rlly was so stupidly in love w u

• "but what if i...die...someday?"

• u sighed and turned to look at the night sky

• at least none of his dad's assistants had found out abt ur place yet

• (thankfully)

• u turned to look at him again

• "then...i'll die too."

• so that's what u were gonna do

• u searched for the pistol, as u blinked several times to focus properly

• when u finally found it, ur hands shakily reached for it

• and then as u aimed it at ur own temple

• the last part of that conversation popped into ur head again

• "then, will we meet each other in next life?"

• minho thought abt it for a few secs

• "probably"

• u nodded

• "i once heard that...when u fall for someone at first sight, it probably just means that we're recognising our partner's soul from our past life….do u think that will happen w us? do u think we'll…. we'll recognise each other?"

• "...i hope so…."

• u both let out a stifled laugh

• and so u stick ur pinky finger out, asking for his 

• "minho."

• "yes?"

• "promise me."

• "promise what?"

• "promise that…...that we'll find each other.."

• minho was abt to argue w u but seeing ur lil pout

• he had no choice but to agree

• "promise."

• and so, another gunshot was heard.

[ghostfruits]

hey can i ask a personal question for the members of ghostfruits; how do u guys personally deal with suicidal ideation and self harm? i notice that theres alot of mentions of death/depression/suicide/etc in your comics, and im a huge fan of you guys and im currently struggling with my own demons and thought I would ask. i hope this isnt too intrusive, feel free to ignore me.. - a suicidal, depressed fan.

i know we’re in public rn but i’m gonna just talk to u like a person, real quick. im going to talk to u like i would have if u were like in front of me

its like 2am and so im worried i might not be as lucid as i think. im sorry in advance if this is like, whole gibberish

im gonna speak for just myself, as the the person who is most often inserting specifically that kind of shit into our work, but definitely not like, the only person on this side like massively struggling with a similar variety of things

i dont know

a lot of people seem to be making work about problems they Used To have, and like ways they Used To feel, and like overcame, and then it becomes safe for them to make like, art about it. like the turmoil happens behind the scenes and then they like open up abt it publically after the fact via art. or at least like thats what im seeing happen, or like, ppl talk abt like "i made this bc it would have helped me figure my shit out sooner if someone had made s/t like this for me" and the like, probably dissappointing truth of it here is i'm bleeding in like real time. i dont have solutions to it. you and me are both in the immediate thick of the same kind of emotion. i didnt manage to puzzle it out. when i was 9 i started feeling like i wanted to kill myself and im 25 and ive wanted that, still, the entire time. i dont all the way know why its like that. sometimes i used to think it was like, a reaction to specific kinds of hardship or loss or dissatisfaction with my circumstances, but lately ive been worried that maybe good things or good times or good feelings are just like, distracting me from something that is my Actual desire, that being dead is the path im just like occassionally straying from. when i say that out loud i have a really easy time imagining a second person telling me that isnt a healthy thing to be saying or feeling, which usually means it isnt, but thats like, really how i am feeling, that is really where i am at with it. that probably means i dont have any business directing another persons like, outlook on it

so

while i cant tell you how to live with it, or cope with it, or manage it, bc im not doing any of those things, i can tell you really confidently that i dont think you should be dead, and you're being misdirected by either yourself or the world or like something else altogether into thinking thats the key that fits into whatevers in front of you. i know i dont know you, but i know like, a lot of people, and iv never felt like any of them should be dead. ive never met anybody who i thought itd be like fine if they died. theres people im hugely indifferent to, theres people i hate, there are people who have hurt me or others enormously and ive still never thought in earnest like "this persons best plan of attack i think is to kill themselves"not like anybody. not like anybody ever. iv said some fucking wild shit abt niggas but iv never said that, and i cant imagine ever saying it. or thinking it, or feeling it. i dont imagine youd be like an exception to that

thats easy to say, but, im not the person who has to live with it tho. thats easy to say to you but you still have to wake up tomorrow and live out whatever has got you so fucked up you're at like, a death point with it, and if youre coming here to ask abt it, youve probably exhausted a lot of other options already ill bet. and its like, probably wack as fuck to meet like another dead end here too. i dont know if youre still reading this even. i probably wouldnt be. iv had madd niggas hem and haw at me forever abt "temporary problems permanent solutions" and then just like shuffle me out of their office or living room or whatever and expect im not supposed to like pop myself on their doorstep. niggas acting like im fucking playing. like i got it out of my system bc we had one conversation and now im supposed to go eat lunch and be regular. idk. id be very mad at me, if i were you. i dont know if you are, but i wouldnt blame you for that. the reason i say all this is to articulate like;its possible that after hitting another roadblock here, youll feel like, "ok then fuck it" and like set your sights on just like, doing it. like bc i didnt have any jewels for u it would like reinforce it maybe. i would like u to consider this tho;

theres MADD niggas smarter than me. i was extremely useless to you just now. this is not like the pinnacle of help you're ever going to get. the answers you need for this exist even if youve already turned over a dozen rocks and theyve all been like, as useless, as this, tht has like absolutely no bearing on if the next rock will have useless shit under it. every single time u flip a coin it has the exact same chance of going one way or the other. this like did not have the medicine u need in it but the main thing i would want to stress to u is that it *does* exist and uve just had like a supremely shitty time finding it

somebodys got it. the only thing i can like confidently promise u is that somewhere, somebody, definitely knows the answer to this. u might be the person even. im not sure. /i/ def havent found it but like its in the mix somewhere. idk

i cant prove it to u but im positive ur not done yet, & you should stay

i didnt read back over any of this after i typed it, & so im gonna apologize again if it was just like, fullblown nonsense

[radio-charlie]

@slab-o-meat

replied to your post

“I didnt smoke up last night so the joint is still here. The “nah hold...”

i keep having the opposite where i say i'm not gonna smoke or eat weed and then i suddenly am doing a lot of weed

am working to stop...life is kind of nuts rn so i'm being lenient but i think when i get a job i'm only gonna let myself smoke on days i work in the evening

my work personality is very nice and go getter at the cost of i am an angry little man at night

im chatty tonight cause im on the weed hi charlie

haha hey jonno. i’m abt to smoke up for real and have a whole lot of indian food for lunch so happy bleary-eyed solidarity tbh. its weird huh, like as soon as u get off the clock and sit down to relax, a whole load of shit just rears up inside u and ur still so full of adrenaline but got no idea what to do with it lol. it was part of the reason why i never got to work the next day feeling fresh and rested. hope the new weed schedule works out and that its not too rough the first couple of weeks. if u get a chill employer maybe u can taper instead of cutting straight to the new amount

[gothic-gnosis]

okay, anyways, after my intro, lemme tell you guys abt school today

TW: drug use

so, i just talked abt myself a little in a previous post, hi, im marten lol. i go to cosmetology school, i'm 19 and im pretty much the youngest person in my class. i have an actual friend group for the first time in my life lol.

so. they smoke around me, i dont really smoke at all, i dont drink or do drugs because, with bpd and shit, my brain chemicals and judgement is already constantly impaired, id rather not impair myself further. so anyways this morning i took a massive hit from my friend's pen thing, and you know, i'm a big baby bitch, im fucking coughing, Dying actually, and another girl goes "wax just hits u in the chest, lemme get you coffee" LIKE THEY WERE BEING SO NICE TO ME LMFAO, so they took me to a bench, i sat down and i was listening to them talk about cars, and suddenly my brain felt like a fucking. clock with a dying battery.

i had to try SO hard to exist and fucking listen to what they were saying, and i was like, talking, but i felt like i wasn't really there, so i went "yo, it feels like im dreaming, like im not in control of myself but i am. like one of those nightmares where you can't run when you want to but im still in full control" and they went "woah bud, ur rlly high lol" so they bought me a coffee, and my ass was fucking Struggling to exist, in the fucking moment, i could feel everything touching my body.

it was the weirdest fucking sensation, feeling my clothes touching my skin, my hair against my neck, the weight of the chain on my neck, the weight of my phone in my uniform, my socks and my work shoes, and my tongue in my moutH FUCKING INTENSELY and i was thinking to myself "how dont people have panic attacks on this shit, i can feel EVERYTHING touching my skin rn" and i was listening to conversation but couldnt comprehend what was being said, or id respond in my head but not out loud.

so, lunch rolls around, and people sit with us, they comment that they had no clue i was high even though like 70% of my personality was gone and just in my head, so i was just floating by on auto pilot. and they decide "lets go to target", first of all bitch, yall are gonna take my high ass to TARGET? and my paranoia set in, i was like "yeah no, im gonna get kidnapped and i cant fight back because my body hates me" BUT MY AUTOPILOT ASS WENT ANYWAYS?? IT WASNT UNTIL I WAS IN A GIRLS CAR THAT I REALIZED "HEY THIS IS HAPPENING OH SHIT I SHOULDVE STAYED"

so, the reason we were going to target was because multiple instructors had quit working at the school, our instructor had to pick up the slack for the teacher who quit, he seemed hella overwhelmed, so we wanted to get him a card and a gift card for a date for him and his wife. well, you know me, ya boy marten, saw a fucking HELLO KITTY MOTHERS DAY CARD AND GOT EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED TO IT. so i refused to get any other card, i auto piloted to starbucks, got coffee but no matter how much coffee i drank, i still felt like i was dreaming and like nothing could fully wake me up.

so at this point, my boyfriend Judas and I are arguing because my high ass said some stupid shit, he has No idea im high as balls, so the entire time im paranoid, im worried my instructor who smokes weed on his BREAK will notice i'm high, i'm freaking out on the inside BUT NONE OF IT CAME THRU ACCORDING TO MY FRIENDS. except for when i went to the floor to just cruise thru and the girl who saw me cough up my lungs went "chile, you look so high" LIKE BRUH THAT DONT HELP. this shit was a sensation i can't fucking EXPLAIN. and i know somebody might read this and be like "this bitch weak wtf" like nah dude, i dont smoke, i live pretty much 100% clean outside of caffeine, the girl who let me have a hit has been smoking since 8th grade, shes now 28, so you can imagine that shit was strong as HELL LMFAO. i'm used to abusing speed and pain killers, its my drug of choice, i like feeling zoom, but weed is a whole fucking experience and it makes me appreciate being sober.

like i like feeling like i have control of a situation, cause bpd and shit, and the high made me feel like i had zero control of ANYTHING going on. speed made me feel like i had control of EVERYTHING. i see why my friends constantly talk abt being sleepy and shit cos tht shit made me fucking asleep while fully awake dude.

so anyways, that was my day today. typically everyday i'm in school irl goes wild, i hope anybody who read this far was entertained and totally doesn't think i'm a weak bitch LMFAO. ive smoked before i promise :((((

Monday, April 12, 2021 9:59 PM

side note, i took the hit at fucking 10 am, I didn't come down til 4 pm LMFAO bitch shit

[hyercns-blog]

( the cuteST )

a bitch is Tired rn after pulling my usual shit, aka staying up until 5am for no reason only to stick out a two hour lab, cry while doing my connections page on my late lunch/packing break and napping in the car, so excuse the seeming lack of enthusiasm lkfdsjglk. hey i’m kat, i’m 20, canadian, and my current means of life rn are chocolate, drag race ( i.. am team anyone but b*b* rn, no offence but my girl needs to come back to earth and stop rubbing me the wrong way sdfgkjgfd ( i think sh*ngela deserves it most despite being more of a tr*xie stan tho js ) ) and 3am you in me listening parties with myself four months after its release rip !! i’m a uni student and in love with sowoo so you don’t wanna know the agony that comes with picking one over the other. you can hmu on d*scord if you’d like ( just find me in the gc and message me from there fkskf ) and this is so boRING, it’s like the life is sucked out of me omg. anyways hyeran, a whole.. other positive muse bc jesus, how many of these do i have rn ?? this is so out of hand man, but nonetheless here’s a bit abt the brat:

- ̗̀ wait, wait, was that JEON SOMIN i just saw? damn, it was actually just that TWENTY TWO year old MUSIC PRODUCER/BARISTA, YUN HYERAN. speaking of them, did you hear that they’re known as THE VIRTUOSO around gangnam? i guess it makes sense considering they act so EBULLIENT & LOYAL but at the same time so MAGNANIMOUS & DIFFIDENT. they’re also apparently a PANSEXUAL FEMALE OUTSIDER who uses SHE/HER pronouns. ( kat / 20 / gmt-3:30 / she/her )

yun hyeran, a daegu native with an older and younger brother, an ambivert and an all around baby

tbh this is a copied intro from a few months back and i don’t have the time to perfectly incorporate her recently developed bg, so pls anticipate a small bio with that explained HERE

buT she became involved in music through her father, who studied it in uni and ended up becoming a music instructor with a focus on piano, flute and vocals

her and her mom.. also her older brother, didn’t have the best relationship when she grew older, which seemed to die altogether when her parents divorced and her mom left. but her and her brother’s still exists, it’s just that he’s a bit of a toxic influence on her and she tends to distance herself from him

went to uni in seoul to pursue music like her father ( a daddy’s girl too like ) and found her way into the world of production !! by junior year, she’d transferred out of her original program and majored in that instead and has loved it ever since; she recently graduated

moved to gangnam bc.. idk, she just wanted to KDFJSGLGKFD

impulsive brat

would visit jeju island when she was younger bc her aunt lived there

she adores said aunt, her dad’s sister and the maternal figure she Deserves, so overall jeju holds a special place in her heart

for the time being, she works full-time as a barista at the café just a block from her cute little studio apartment while looking into internships at record labels for her to take on a little further down the line ( no rush bc it’s already quite competitive and she’d rather enjoy what she has going now )

she’s also making something of an income as the creator of an acct on youtube and soundcloud for her music, something she’s had for abt two years now

she’s not even close to making it big yet, and she doesn’t mind if she never works for a moderately to highly popular label — though she should if she wants to get by

among the aesthetic, lo-fi music crowd ( one of those yt accts with a livestream for certain playlists that go on for hours, rip ) where for the most part, it’s personal faves mixed with her own works, and has a substantial following as of now. but has an interest in experimenting, with mashups ( as a lover of them ?? i couldn’t help myself sgflkdsjg ) for example, with a small fear of how that change would be received

this is so short now that i’ve shortened it immensely iK, it’s a little infuriating if you ask me ljkgdfjls

in terms of her personality and other things:

she’s a very loyal person, v e r y. while like i said ( and will elaborate on in her bio ), her relationship with her brother is Not Great, she hasn’t completely given up on him. maybe for the time being, but her being someone who’s open to the idea of people changing for the better somewhere down the line, leaves a bit of room for her to possibly change her mind if he does enough to allow her to consider it

so she can be a bit of a doormat in some cases, it all depends on how she sees the person that determines if that’s the case, but she generally won’t let you off if you’re being dumb/an ass to someone or if she gets advantageous vibes from you for example ( given she can.. be a little naive and is a p gentle soul ) so.. idk fgklsj good luck to the 99% ig ??

she does have a slight dependency on others despite her thinking all signs point to the opposite, and even though her and her mom never rly had a good relationship she still reels from the neglect/abandonment some days so handle her with Care if she deems you a close pal

spontaneous tbh, moving to gangnam was a little last minute on her part, for one

she’s a bit reclusive when focused on something, if she tells you she’s working on a track, it’s essentially a head’s up that you might not see her for a couple of days depending on how soon she gets it done — lowkey that bitch™ who makes up an illness to her boss, so she wouldn’t even show up for work if it’s more than just her fucking around

bc admittedly, a lot of what she posts is fucking around and liking it, her more thought-out and effort packed projects are hidden away on her laptop

a bit insecure with her work and just her general disposition ?? those first few points above mess with her a lot and leave her disheartened so.. my poor child

v strong overall, takes people’s shit and if it gets to her, she gets over it p fast. doesn’t dwell on much and will be courteous to you even if she’s declared you too toxic to stick around 24/7

isn’t exactly one to get angry ?? she’s basically just disappointed or annoyed at best 99% of the time, it takes a lot to get her beyond that

positive, ugh. maybe not sickeningly sweet, but still. kinda explained parts of it above and i’m 95% gone mentally rn, gotta spare that for other little details gsjklf

a cute bean who wants the best for everyone

uhhh

has a good understanding of english, her mom’s an american national so she grew up with it being spoken in the house at times

prob speaks it better than i speak french, but still wouldn’t consider herself fluent

plays piano and bass guitar, but knows her way around a flute and tenor sax ( you don’t know how tempted i was to say clarinet bc of jiwoo gjflkgds )

prob had some kind of little amateur rock band with a few music majors and took up bass for the hell of it lmao

loves animals, leans towards cats or big dogs. corgis and those little spaniels get a pass tho

speaking of, she has a cute little calico kitten ( i’m shit with pet names so if lucy sounds lacklustre.. you know why rgkjls ) who she Loves, her baby !!

sweater, ball cap and basic t shirt junkie

those glasses somin’s been wearing a lot of lately ?? hyeran wears them too but.. actually needs them, not even close to a fashion statement

doesn’t don much makeup unless someone’s dragging her to a party or something

thaT’S when she looks a little more like a classy early twenties bitch.. which lbr, is hard enough when adulthood is a whole Train Wreck for the most part LGFJSDL

not a heavy drinker, but the textbook definition of a lightweight so.. she’s always praying for anyone who has to deal with her dgfjklsfg

lattes are her livelihood

a bit of a hopeless romantic, just a bit, but god help her nonetheless

her favourite subject in school was literature/writing and reads quite a bit on her breaks at the café

favourite music genres.. it’s easier to say what she doesn’t like/finds boring, which is prob country and some aspects of edm/pop, not into punk/metal either

these are super basic but.. i’ve gotta get myself together for the day so this’ll do for now i hope ??

so if you’d like to plot, im me here or on d*scord ! i prefer the latter personally, but whichever’s easiest for you. i have a list of a few of the specific wcs i have in mind ( for the time being, catch my lazy ass avoid listing all the basic ones and revising a few i have on an old blog ) for hyeran up now, which you can find here, so just lmk if any of them appeal to you !!

[impyeseul]

( loOK AT THIS CUTE LIL SQUISH IM CRYIGN !! )

hI BABIES !! i hope you’re having/had a good day bc my impatient and hyped ass has been dying to plot with you all since i sent my acct in bc this rp is ? already so cool ?? anyways i’m kat, 19 yo mess™ from canada, the nt specifically aka the geniuses behind the only :30 tz on the planet tyvm. i’m a SUFFERING uni student, i’m bts, sci-fi and alt rock trash, letterkenny s3 has become my life now and when my social life isn’t dormant like it is rn, you can usually find me at the campus bar having a wild time with a couple of my ra’s lol. i have a small plots page set up HERE that you can check out — i kinda gave up on the creative thing i had going with them by the fourth one and still have a few to add ( bc it’s dinner time rn and i’m famished ) as you can see hgjkfs — and feel free to im me for my discord acct !! now, on to my content, quixotic bab seulie who rly.. doesn’t know what she’s doing with herself despite finally getting her life on track overall, but she’s trying:

— earlier, i could’ve sworn i saw PARK CHAEYOUNG (ROSÉ) on campus, but it’s just SONG YESEUL. i heard they were sorted as a GLEAM and they’re only TWENTY years old majoring in FASHION MARKETING here at imperium, which isn’t surprising considering their ability is ADOPTIVE MUSCLE MEMORY. people call her the PEACH because she is supposedly EBULLIENT, but also COMPULSIVE but who knows if that’s true, it’s their ability that matters. ( kat. 19. nt. she/her. none. )

so lil song yeseul was born in changwon to a korean-canadian father and her mother who had both moved from daegu abt two years prior ??

has a younger brother by abt two years and ig you could say they were middle class

so most of her family bg is still up in the air for me but

her parents were always v big on education, wanting the best for their kids and to be cared for in their old age, so seulie and her brother were diligent in their studies as kids

however, she slipped away little by little and became a more lax student, hiding under the guise of working endlessly in her room when she was really just reading the new tw****** book ( yeah, i rly just censored that series lmao )

her grades were still good, she just didn’t get as into it and overwhelmed by it as before

without a doubt lost her shit when she learned that she had powers

i mean she prob learned she had them when she was fourteen and saw a huge fist fight between some kids at school.. before going home and accidentally punching her little brother in the face

“ what.. the fuck ? oh my god oh my gOD HOW DO I KNOW HOW TO THROW A PUNCH LIKE THAT ? HOW DO I KNOW HOW TO DO A ROUND OFF BACK HANDSPRING DOUBLE PIKE ?! ”

is good at sports and dance mostly bc of her power.. but she’s also a walking safety hazard bc she’s clumsy af, so she steers clear of most sports for everyone’s sake

like cute guy or girl in the stands ? she’s taking the field hockey forward down with her when she trips on air and prob fucks them up bc they cushioned her fall

yeah i rly.. made a girl equipped with muscle memory a klutz, rip

anyways her parents weren’t too peeved by this surprisingly ( at least her dad wasn’t lol ) as long as she didn’t nearly break her brother’s nose again jgfksd

ngl it was smooth sailing for the most part, unless you caught her off-guard with your presence or something, then she was a state with her movements 

prob took up a job at some local fast food place like every other teen to save for uni

so fast forward and she graduated !!! she thought she’d do medical science and had no real worries about changing her mind

got into imperium and was set on medicine.. until she finally began attending uni, about a month in and she was fucking clueless

on top of that, she had to adjust to so much concentration on her power that it was all a little surprising and foreign to her

so to sum it up, her first year saw her suffering with academics, and other aspects of her life at imperium, however for the most part, everything was p good and she was content

so after a while, seulie switched into fashion marketing and she loves it

her parents were p disappointed for a while bc of the switch in major and there was an evident strain on their relationship ( between her and her mom, at least ) but by now they’ve come around and she’s so thankful for that tbh ??

anyway she’s kinda a mess, not rly sure of what else to say lol

personality and other stuff ig

pansexual af 

soft af !!

spontaneous, if only i could give you an example rIP

obsessed with the idea of leading a luxurious lifestyle and wants it to be at her own accord

has a bit of a dependency on others, even if she tries to deny it bc she knows she does deep down

a generally cheery person who wants the best for people

C L U M S Y

like she rly isn’t joining any sports bc of it, even if soccer is prob ok for her; won’t take her chances lmao

the type to make up for any harm she inflicted in training by icing your bruise, buying you lunch or cuddling if you wanna do that lol

physical affection is everything to her rly, kisses and the like are welcomed wholeheartedly

won’t admit to this either, but she tends to feel rly insecure bc she didn’t know what she wanted to do with her life once she actually dived into uni or how to tell her parents, or how some people tend to walk over her bc of her occasional naiveté, see her as weak for being a more gentle soul, etc

is scarily calm when she’s angry, but that’s bc she doesn’t get angry per se ?? it’s irritation and disappointment at best so like.. beware

thinks the hierarchy is pathetic and jst wants everyone to be treated fairly ?? is prob an advocate for world peace but with the knowledge of it being difficult to achieve easily, so she approaches this whole thing similarly

is the type to cry over a series finale she’s watched twenty times already

horror movies get her evERY TIME; even if she can laugh at the badly done ones, the jump scares without fail fuck her up

super chill though, always smiling, just a rly cute bean

loves cats and dogs, she’ll never pick one over the other

hc: when she has a family and all that and they decide to adopt a puppy, she’ll leave the kids with her partner and snatch a tabby cat bc why not have both ??

the biggest meat hoe™

but loves cocoa more than life itself

tries to dress in a sophisticated manner but also rly loves wearing cute baggy sweatshirts and ball caps

skIRTS

loves all of the cult classic teen movies, has a soft spot for well done romance flicks and kdramas too

also a hopeless romantic and is set on the principle of heart over head, legit will fall in love with/develop a crush on you so easily so watch yourself pLS

has never been in a relationship tho lol

.. wh y am i saying that like she’s a loser when i haven’t either

i rly just played myself, why am i not surprised lfjdkgh

loves indie/electropop, alternative, rap, and r&b music

has a profound admiration for classical as well

not the heaviest drinker or user of sorts but it’s prob for the best bc she’s such a lightweight lmao

can be like four different people when she’s drunk so.. yeah js hahaha

so she’s sometimes that chick™ that has a wild time at a party but surprise !! she’s stone cold sober

has a slight oral fixation ig ? not in a sexual manner though so don’t get any ideas hahaha

.. ok maybe a little but it’s rly innocent on her part 99% of the time. you’ll almost never see her without a straw in her drink for example; she’s also a lollipop and liquorice hoe so yeah

she’ll never bite her nails though, at least not beyond a light nip that’s p subconscious when she’s concentrating on something

.. funny how i typed more about this than her feelings abt her major rIP

but listen when i say that she’s lowkey freaky i fucking meant it lmAO. idek if she realizes it herself but yeah.. she’s not that pure sdhfkg i hate myself for this you doNT UNDERSTAND

so that’s seulie !! if you’d like to plot, just like this or message me, i’ll try to get back to you as soon as i can !

[transdanieljacobi]

Would you hate me if I asked you to answer all of the valentines asks?

1: Do you have a crush at the moment? yeah 

2: Have you ever been deeply in love? i don’t think deeply is the right word, but i have been in love

3: Longest relationship you've ever been in? four and a half months

4: Have you ever changed for someone? never

5: How is your relationship with your ex? i’m friends with one of them and i avoid the other two like the plague

6: Have you ever been cheated on? not that i know of

7: Have you ever cheated? nope

8: Would you date someone who's well known for cheating? it’d be an open or poly relationship so yeah that’d be fine

9: What's the most important part of a relationship? trust and communication

10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings? both are cool

11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on "breaks"? if someone wants to go on a break they probably don’t want to date you anymore

12: How many people have you ever hooked up with? two

13: What's one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship? trusting that he wasn’t lying to me to spare my feelings

14: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex? 15 or 16 i guess

15: Do you believe in the phrase "age is just a number"? yeah, when the people are both consenting adults in at least their 20s, not between adults and kids or teens

16: Do you believe in "love at first sight"? i believe in thirst at first sight

17: Do you believe it's possible to fall in love on the internet? sure

18: What do you consider a deal breaker? someone that’s rude to people in the service industry or says gross shit abt sex workers

19: How do you know it's time to end a relationship? when it isn’t working anymore i guess. i’ve never had to end a relationship.

20: Are you currently in a relationship? kinda?

21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends? maybe in some situations.

22: Do you think people should date their friends? if both people want to why not

23: How many relationships have you had? fourish

24: Do you think love can last forever? sometimes

25: Do you believe love can conquer all things? not really

26: Would you break up with someone your parents didn't approve of? fuck no. my mom isn’t the one dating them

27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be? don’t date t*** it’ll just be awkward

28: Do you think long distance relationships can work? yeah

29: What do you notice first about another person? their hair or their humor

30: Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual? i’m queer

31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness? yeah that’d be p fuckin hypocritical of me if it did.

32: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship? not really. it was just toxic as hell

33: Do you want to get married one day? maybe

34: What do you think about getting your partner's name tattooed? never ever ever. fuck no

35: Could you be in a relationship without sex? i dont know. its never wirked before for me.

36: Are you still a virgin? fuck no

37: What's more important: Looks or personality? both are important

38: Do you enjoy love films? only when i’m feeling Extra Sapp

39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses? no

40: Have you ever had a valentine? kinda?

41: What's your imagination of a "perfect date"? a long drive to a path in the woods for a short hike. then lunch in the woods, featuring flirty banter. wrap it up with a scifi action movie, featuring a lot of hand holding and theater cuddling.

42: Have you ever read "Romeo & Juliet"? yeah its fucking stupid. by far Shakespeare's weakest tragedy

43: What's more important: Your partner or your friends? bros before hos man.

44: Would you consider yourself "romantic"? yeah...

45: Could you imagine to date one of your current friends? i am dating a current friend

46: Have you ever been "friendzoned"? no bc that’s not real. 

47: Which "famous couple" is your favorite? nick offerman and megan mullaney

48: What's your favorite love song? answered this

49: Have you ever broken someone's heart? i dont think so

50: If you're single, why do you think you are? im not

51: Would you rather date someone who's rich but a douchebag or someone who's poor but a nice guy? idc as long as they treat me right

52: Are you good at giving other people advices regarding dating/ relationships? only when it comes to trans people and cis girls. cis men still elude me.

53: Are you jealous of couples when you're single? not at all

54: How important is it to make a relationship official (p.e. on Facebook)? not very

55: Would you consider yourself "clingy", "overly attached" or "jealous"? not at all

56: Have you ever "destroyed" a relationship? not to my knowledge

57: Do you think it's silly to consider suicide because of a broken heart? i don’t think considering suicide is ever “silly”, suicidal people need help, whatever the reason.

58: Are you the "dominant" or the "submissive" part in a relationship? i’m a switch

59: Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partner's birthday or your anniversary? i write them down to avoid just that.

60: What's your opinion on open relationships? i’m in one rn

61: Who's more important: Your partner or your family? i’m not answering that

62: How do you define "cheating"? sex or a relationship with another person without the knowledge or consent of one’s partner

63: Is watching porn while being in a relationship inappropriate? no

64: Do you think Valentine's Day is overrated? a little

65: Would you consider yourself a "cuddler"? always

[fertsza]

Urban english

Hi there / Howdy

wack - lame - shitty

what could u possibly have done to it, its all the way up there

I’m down for whatever

deadass - i shit you not

he just showed up holding it like this is a normal thing

Sorry ass

dickhed - dumbass - jerk - cunt - motherfucker - douchebag

GPA = moyenne

now we’re talking

Fam

tbh = ngl

GOAT = greatest of all the time

Gucci = cool

FOMO = Fear Of Missing Out

JOMO = Joy Of Missing Out

Hang up = raccrocher

Y R RUNNING

Stud = bg

I don’t buy it = i dont believe it

That was messed up

Badass - lit - dope

Soon or later = tot ou tard

ur having fun w this, dont even lie

9 = ya un parent autour, fo faire attention a ce qu’on va dire

Having a hard time

Not only are you...

As long as...

Get over that

Can’t handle

Make sure to

As if

how about

get yo arse right back here

Definitely

It was a pleasure

Lets pass on those

Stop being dramatic

This creep me out

Thanks for coming / thanks for having me

Awful / terrible / horrible

Picky

Choose someone over...

Those days ( passé)

These days (present)

Smelly

always thinking he’s right no matter what

5 seconds rule

Run out of smthin

stone = fonsdé

How about (one beer)

What about

What if

i have a v fast metabolism so i can eat a lotta food n i actually struggle to gain weight lol #blessed

Its not what it looks like

Catfishing = essayer de séduire qq1 sur internet avec un faux cpte

Ghosting some1 = disparaître de leur vie

Slow fade = un peu moins violent que le ghosting

Go to Dutch = chacun s’occupe de soit, genre le resto, chacun paie son repas

To have a lot of baggage = qq1 avec un lourd passé

To Hit it off = ya eu un bon feeling avec cette personne (amicale, business, amour)

On again/off again = selena & justin

To break it off = larguer qq1

Did you get some sleep ? a couple hours

You already mentioned it

Hell yeh

In terms of...

Then once you get that

Borrow = prêter mais pas que l’argent

In my opinion

Over a night

Check it out

Little does he know

My pleasure, any time

It was the other way around= l’inverse

So happy to have you both

We don’t talk about shit that matters

But not lately = pas récemment

There’s a lot going on

Leftover = des restes

Easy ! = doucement

I see that for sure

Fair enough

And how about lunch

Have a great experience w the company

And stuff = et tout

Hi this is levik speaking w honeybelle, ...

Can we make it ? = c’est faisable ?

We’re working on it = qd on mange qqchose au resto et qu’il nous demande si on a fini alors que nn

How it turns out

It takes too much room

Later on

Limited knowledge

Versus

Dump = larguer

Let’s just say / what it does

From what i know

Wya

If doest that make sense

Let me get..

Can i have some = casom

Can u spot me

No shit who even...

Piece of shit

Movie theater

Eventually = ... finit par

You’re trying to go out tonight

Screw it

Knock out

Oof

Speak for yourself

Give it a year and you’ll see how it used to be

How did u find out about us

Get a refund

How long is the wait

Crackhead

Pull up = se garer

Knock on the door

That’s rude

bitch wtf

Processed food

Hangry = slang word for hungry

Yeh so what ?!

Camera rolls = galerie

I woke up to a pimple

bet = ok

cheeks = bad

u cheeks at smthin

wig = crazy

wig flew

Tea = true

spill the tea = tell the truth

Yack /puke= vomitar

Busted = shitty/bad

Busted a nut

Cake = big butt

DTF = down to fuck

For here or to go

Neat = soigné/bien rangé

Live up to = être a la hauteur

Starting off

Crackhead= drogué

looks like she went through a lot

Scratching all the way down

don’t work too hard

Blunt

bitch u got me fucked up

You brought it up to someone

In my defense

To make sure

How am i gonna do that you may ask

I am bullied

Thanks for having me

It rlly do be like that smtimes

How do u feel about me giving u a tattoo

Fair point

In terms of

It just got to the point where it was simple

I couldn’t cope w being at

What is it like

Instead of = or else

Wasup - not so much

i wish i was out there

Want him to give you his bank details while he's at it????

It tastes like ass

u had one job

fuck smthin up = merder

i mean like i j didnt think i was gna get to this point so fast

Thats kinda fucked up

Idk thats magic

Yeh that hurtED

Have fun bitch a$$

she looks like shes been through a lot

Weird flew but ok

Clear my schedule

Get off my arseee

As you wait, you can..

my dumbass knows only one

Shut up u didnt do that

Meaning that

What am i hearing is that

Thats a gr8 question

When it comes to

Lowkey this is fire

At such a young age

Just give it 4 mins

Stop exposing/bullying me

Did i ask, mind yo own business

How about...

I lost my shit when he said

I never pooped b4 but This shit has me weak asf

i think its sensational

sorry i don’t normally have anger issues

ur peepee, ur perfect personality

Ur 12

I did a oopsie

Although I’ll never get married

We’re gon make this shit happen

My ass

Dont get me wrong

How do u guys feel abt that

sorry im being v negative, i feel like im negative a lot n im worried abt it

Im flipping my shit rn

No wonder why

Next thing u know

I’m a pacifist but u would pass these fists

Someone get their man

Running out of words

Im not fuckin around

I hate bitches

Run at me = run that shit = fight me

Let me be red a little quick

Lets bounce = lets dip = on se tire

That was my shit

Damn shortie okey

To shove = foutre/mettre

Expel = exclure

I said what i said

lay over = escale

ew why am i being cringey 2day, who told me it was okey to say things like bae

for a hot minute

I dont want u to make a face at me/to be mean to me bc im sharing w u bc i think its funny

To shit (past) = sharted

Stop being a stubborn piece of shit

Bitch you’re tripping

What is he on abt

Roating

The water got run

Its like one of of those things that sounded a lot better in my head and i said it and im like im fking stupid

Cmon make up ur mind

Im j kidding u dumb bitch i know u cant read

clingy = collant

ok im done overreacting

Hometown

Ok Picture this

Kenny smells like meldoo

Chips u owe me a drink

They wanna hate everything that i do n that i make for them bc they wanna bully me bc its fun for them

U lost ur shit like big time

Roast/bully

When you’re gone, everybody gets used to you being gone bc u cant j mourn for the rest of your life

i want my brain to get constipated so my ideas aint leaving my head

if i leave, im scared that u gon get used to forgetting abt me, u gon get used to me not being here

they dont deserve my funny ass

Okey fire

they aren’t playing around

[trickstarbrave]

been bitching abt my mom the past few days bc right after i graduated college (finally, i worked hard, and i was rly happy) she threw a massive bitch fit, ruined the whole day, and i had to drive home w a migraine after i cried all lunch. she not only made fun of the way i dress several times, said i was an idiot for not being able to have a job already (JUST graduated that DAY), told me i am fakng being disabled bc im lazy, yelled abt cars leaving a parking lot before us bc “they cant drive thats why” (WE WERE AT THE B A C K OF THE LOT PPL LEAVE B E F O R E US), yelled abt needing to eat and said we’re going to the first place i suggested bc she took it as a declaration thats where i wanted to go but ive never eaten lunch there, yelled abt how she didnt like the menu, when we left she called me rude as hell and yelled at me in the street that theres no normal place to eat and when i yelled back stormed off

then she demanded, in the car, we go to a place she suggested based on what a friend said. “its right over there we passed it” “yeah we passed it but its not there, we need to drive” “NO WE CAN WALK TO IT I SAW IT” “I HAVE THE DIRECTIONS IN MY MAP ON MY PHONE ITS NOT ‘RIGHT THERE’” “STOP CALLING ME CRAZY. (telling someone theyre wrong now is calling them crazy and gaslighting them when SHE WAS JUST REMEMBERING FUCKING WRONG I HAD IT ON THE MAP AND DIRECTIONS TO IT). anyways we get to the place SHE SAID WE WERE GOING TO. it wasnt what she thought it was gonna be bc it was a diner, she complained more, and then told me to stop fucking crying so i went and sat outside and then she said “brave is TRYING to just MAKE ME MAD and all of you WONT SIT DOWN AND EAT because NONE OF YOU CAN STAND ME ALL BC I NEEDED TO EAT OR I WOULD GET FUCKING SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

and so i went back to the hotel, packed up shit, and went the fuck home. and she made my sick grandma drive her (she cant drive she had 3 DUIs before so lmao) bc she refused to have my grandpa drive her. bc shes mad at him too and shit rn. and she also threatened to run out into traffic and then came right back and said “glad to see you were SO WORRIED ABOUT ME” BITCH WHAT DID YOU WANT ME TO SAY. STOP THREATENING SUICIDE TO GET UR FUCKING WAY.  

anyways rest of my family said “go hug her and tell her happy mothers day” no. she came into my room and went “do you have ANY idea what i went through having you at the age i did?? and you dont wish me happy mothers day???” fuck off. she can have mothers day another year. i will not get my bachelors degree graduation day again. youre a shitty fucking mother. you fucking suck. you abuse me emotionally, verbally, insult me, tear me down, called me a fucking dyke, say my friends fucking hate me and think im a freak, insult my clothes, insult my degree, call me a literal child, even fucking BEAT ME every time u can muster up the physical strength to fucking do so. i fucking cant STAND YOU. i get you’re chronically ill and mentally ill and disabled. I AM TOO. i fucking AM TOO. and i know it doesnt give me a right to verbally abuse ppl, threaten suicide, and act like a fucking monster and demand THEY apologize. fuck i didnt fucking ASK you to fucking GIVE BIRTH TO ME JUST TO USE ME AS A PAWN IN ARGUMENTS AND ABUSE ME MY WHOLE LIFE. i never ASKED to be BORN. start acting like a fucking adult before i treat you like a fucking mom. youre just a menace. you make other ppl scream and act like fucking crazy ppl bc ur just ABUSIVE. its not ABOUT your sad childhood and mental illness and disability youre just ABUSIVE and dont have the self awareness to know it and excuse your own behavior and play the victim and im TIRED OF IT. 

its fast approaching the day i just never speak to you again. and i dont care if you suffer. i dont care if you die at this point. find someone else to take care of you. ive been taking care of your ass since i was old enough to speak. i will not take care of you your whole damn life so you can scream at me and abuse me. i refuse to rip myself up more and let you hurt me your whole damn life all because you refuse to fucking be a better damn person. i dont owe you my well being because you gave birth to me. you’re a shit mom. all you care about is helping yourself. thats all youve ever cared about. ive done too much healing and growing to try and undo all the fuckin damage youve been doing to me for my whole damn life to keep your ass around.